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Oct. 6th, 2006|11:49 pm |
The Top Signs You're About to Be Dumped
- "I think we should start seeing other people. And by 'we,' I mean 'I.' And by 'should,' I mean 'have been.' And by 'other people,' I mean 'your best friend.' I'll let you figure out what 'seeing' means."
- You ask your Magic 8 Ball if she's going to dump you and it says, "Signs point to a prolonged period of masturbation, Loser McDumpy."
- You're pretty sure "Adios, bitch!" wasn't really the answer to every question on last night's "Jeopardy!"
- She's removed you from her friends list on MySpace and her buddy list on AIM, and is currently attacking her tattoo with a cheese grater.
- Your girlfriend changes her screen name from Suzie1981 to SuzieLez1981.
- She calls out another guy's name while making love. To that other guy. In your car. While you're driving them to the airport.
- She sits you down and starts the classic "It's not you, it's me" speech with, "It's YOU, asshole!!! All you, you, you, you, you! Oh, my God, it is soooooooo YOU!!"
- "Hi, this is Dan at the suicide hotline. Just checking in. Feel free to call back anytime." |
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