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[Oct. 28th, 2010|09:34 pm] |
No @5tevenw twiterī:
I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Which means I have fifteen hours to do six months of flossing.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A quick tweet about something off the top of my head . . . . Dandruff.
NEWS UPDATE: Police arrest pervert who stole over 1000 bras by setting up a boobie trap.
Vodka & Prozac are the answer. I have no idea what the hell the question was.
Twitter is like a sauna: we are all in the same space, we show everything, but are not really looking at each other.
I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
NEWS UPDATE: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
NEWS: The clone of a cheetah was murdered last night in the local zoo - Police are hunting a copycat killer!
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. Mark Twain
I have a massive walk-in closet. Some may call it the bedroom floor.
Describe myself in 4 words - - Bad at counting.
I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me!
Psychotherapist = Psycho - the - Rapist, hmmm!!
My ex was temperamental. 50% temper and 50% mental.
I'm not a bad driver, I just like giving the gift of near-death experiences.
Nothing is impossible and I'm doing nothing - So I'm doing the impossible.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 7. He said "I still love Vista, baby".
A true friend is someone who says nice things behind your back
How do you tickle a rich girl? Say "Gucci Gucci Gucci!" |
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