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[Sep. 30th, 2010|08:49 am] |
No @5tevenw twiterī:
Dear Warner Bros, now I'm an adult, I feel I'm old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E Coyote
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
I have never really grown up, I've only learned how to act in public.
With great power comes a great electric bill
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if you throw it precisely.
I put my ear plugs in earlier and had a near deaf experience.
Nothing is impossible and I'm doing nothing - So I'm doing the impossible.
Don't break anyone's heart, they have only one.... Break their bones, they have 206 of them.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind, I will never die.
On a scale of 7 to 1.2, how much do you not hate being confused?
I wasn't religious until I got married - now I actually know there is a hell!
What gets longer when pulled, fits between your boobs, inserts neatly into a hole and work best when jerked? A seatbelt.
It is scientifically proven that a woman can be satisfied with only 8.5cm. - and it doesn't matter if the card is Visa or MasterCard
My laptop has a virus - I first thought it was a STD because of all the porn on it
I've been on PC too long, while shaving, I caught myself checking the lower right corner of my mirror to see what time it was
Discretion - Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
I'm not being lazy today... just energy efficient
Twitter is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening & closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it
Chuck Norris and Superman once made a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underpants on the outside. |
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