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[Aug. 27th, 2010|08:02 am] |
Money isn't everything. There also has to be stuff to buy.
If I was ever about to be eaten by a bear, I'd smear mayonnaise all over myself. It's a long shot, but there must be some bears out there who are watching their figures.
The Top Movie Titles Improved by a Single Word
- Finding Nemo Delicious
- Rear Against Window
- Exploding Bridges of Madison County
- When Dirty Harry Met Sally
- Dude, Where's My Car Seat?
- The Fairy Godfather
- Dr. No S#!t
- Men in Black II-IIs
- Inception Explained
- Close Encounters of the Third Base Kind
The Top Differences in a Virtual Military World
- Compliance training is replaced with battling the Master Control Program.
- If you kill the four ogres and retrieve the golden scimitar, it counts towards your next promotion.
- In vGov, no one can hear you fart.
- Virtual smoke breaks are much healthier.
- All the recruits are named Mario.
- For some reason, "Achievement Unlocked" is much more satisfying than another medal.
- A year's supply of McAfee protection is cheaper than condoms from the BX.
- All it takes to learn Kung Fu is a fast download through the USB port they implanted in your skull.
- You don't have to worry about wearing dress blues; you *are* blue. And ten feet tall.
- "Like" buttons on all battle plans.
- Intel will be focused on only one thing: Cheat codes.
- You can have a meeting with Eula in accounting without actually having to be *with* Eula.
- It doesn't cost anything to be the guy who always brings the virtual donuts.
The Top Songs About Dermatologists
- Zits All Over Now
- Filler
- More Than a Peeling
- Botox the Line
- Baby Got Bacne
- Strawberry Birthmarks Forever
- What a Wonderful Wart
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