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[Aug. 17th, 2010|03:37 pm]
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Boy, does my wife hate it when I order the 2-piece white-meat KFC lunch combo and call it "breast feeding."

Whenever I wear my "I Gave Blood" T-shirt, people treat me like I'm special, without even asking *whose* blood I gave.


European aerospace giant EADS announced an airplane which runs on algae fuel, a world first.

The Top Names for a Hybrid Airplane

- The Pond Scummer
- F-22c Craptor
- Lean Green Flying Machine
- Puce Goose
- Distilled Spirit of St. Louis
- JetBlueGreen
- A glider


The Top Signs Your Flight Attendant Has Totally Lost It

- She gives every child on the flight a four-pack of Red Bull and says, "There's more where this came from, kid."
- Serves peanuts individually, out of his pants pocket.
- "Let's spice things up a bit: In the event of a water landing, put your head between your *neighbor's* knees."
- "Sommmmmmmmmmmebody on this flight is a Federal Air Marshal. Free drinks to whoever can identify him first!"
- Announces that there's engine trouble and he's going to have to land the plane on Jennifer Hudson.

No TopFive.com
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