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[Aug. 7th, 2010|09:27 am] |
My wife had her identity stolen, and now sometimes I don't think I even know her anymore.
I was a bed wetter when I was a little kid. I guess a lot of kids have problems like that, but I was doing it on purpose. See, I was afraid there was a monster living under my bed, then I figured that not even a monster would want to live under a mattress that smells like piss.
On the one hand, I'm sad my wife figured out how to turn her old electric toothbrush into a vibrator. On the other, I really like hew new minty fresh taste.
The Top Disadvantages to Being an Old Guy in Boot Camp
- There are also a bunch of fine, fit young female recruits there. But you're married. And you *look* married.
- You mistake "maneuver" for something else.
- Even though they both start with the same word, absent-mindedness is no excuse for AWOL.
- It just sucks when the Command Sergeant Major is your little brother.
- "If you can hike 10 miles with a full rucksack, you can take out the garbage, buster!"
- No room left for any new tattoos.
- When the drill sergeant gives an order, it's really hard not to reply "Yes, Dear."
- Constantly having to suppress the urge to yell at all those soldiers parading on the lawn.
- During MOPP training, whenever someone shouts, "Gas! Gas!" you think they're talking about you.
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