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[Jul. 31st, 2010|09:42 am] |
I won so much money in the Jenga championship, I had my 7th-story apartment removed and re-installed up on the penthouse level.
My grandmother taught my mother how to drive, and she, in turn, taught me. Luckily, my mother didn't also pass down the knowledge of how to get pregnant in the back seat, because some family traditions should just fade away.
When I'm pondering existentialism, I always lean my head sideways so I look like a *gangster* philosopher.
Some days, you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. And still others, you're that weird net-like stuff on the window wash-'n'-squeegee thing at the gas station.
I always felt those Farm Aid concerts were an awesome idea because I know first-hand how tough it is being a small farmer these days -- especially when the DEA keeps burning your crop before you can harvest.
The Top Signs Your New Video Game Was Programmed by Ducks
- "Cheney Hunter" features a unique U-shaped rifle.
- The moose are too stupid. Duh.
- The sound effects don't echo.
- New x-rated game: Duck, Duck, Moose.
- "Sim Pond" is pretty freakin' dull until the old lady breaks out the bread.
- It's pretty realistic as far as flight simulators go. Except for the bobbing. And the top speed of Mach 0.05.
- You get to the next level only by convincing retrievers to show up only with Happy Meals in their mouths.
- The game controls are: 8=Quack, 6=Quack, 2=Quack, 4=Quack.
- Whenever you get killed, you can continue by picking your bill off the ground and replacing it onto your face.
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