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[Jul. 25th, 2010|10:49 am]
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My first love and I met as pen-pals. It was a long time before we actually met, but I truly believe there was something special between us. Especially if you consider three inches of bulletproof glass at the women's prison as special.

I think a great way to make the Olympics more interesting would be to combine two sports into one called "Greco-Roman Synchronized Swimming." One team would do silly artistic stuff while the other team tried to throw them out of the pool.


The Top Scenes From "The Day When Math Stopped Working"

- "What do you mean four gallons of gas is a trillion metric dollars?"
- That horse who can add and then kick the sum? Nobody friggin' cares! Leno still books him, though.
- After taking 2,356,916 aspirins, you are entirely unable to call the doctor in the morning.
- Forty-one senators outvote fifty-nine.
- 60% of Georgia high school students would have to blame English Lit for failing their graduation tests.
- Pi = four apples, sugar, and a crust
- Do we really have to explain to you what would happen? Do the...um............

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