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[Jul. 2nd, 2010|07:58 am] |
My girlfriend gave me a musical condom that plays a piccolo minuet. I think she's trying to tell me something.
If you have an indoor pet, it's not a bad idea to make sure he gets enough outdoor activity, too. One such activity I would suggest is crapping.
My wife thinks I'm obsessed with my Xbox, but I think she's just jealous of my friends on the ring planet. Why else would she complain so much when she brings me my food and empties the urine jar?
The Top New Movies Starring Mel Gibson
- Full Mental Jackass
- How Stella Got Her Grill Smacked
- The Passion of the... CHRIST! What's Wrong With You, Dude?!?
- Lethal Whuppin'
- Despicable Mel
The Top Independence Day Celebrations
- Exercise your freedom of speech: write a holdup note.
- Jenna and Barbara Bush table dances for America!
- Finally tell the wife you want a divorce.
- "Son, you're 18 and independent, and we've changed the locks."
- Buy that extra set of pumps, or the terrorists have already won.
- Shoot Roman candles at competitor's fireworks stand.
- Celebrate 231 years of freedom (fewer if African-American.)
- Exercise your freedom of speech by telling the cop down the street how ugly you think his wife is.
- Badmouth the king all you want.
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