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[Jul. 24th, 2006|11:06 pm] |
Why is it that every four weeks or so, some Chinese guy calls my pager? Who is this Lo Cell, and what does he want with me? (Dave Henry)
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The Top Signs You're *Not* Living La Vida Loca
- When they refer to you as "Hot," they always throw in "and sweaty."
- Your stolen couch was identified by your ass-print.
- Ricky Martin: cover of People, Rolling Stone, etc. You: cover of Bridge Players Monthly.
- Just a *wee* too much cooking sherry and you end up dancing around the neighborhood with a lampshade on your head.
- You're only halfway through "Living la Vida Loca for Dummies."
- Your wife has to explain that being a "Latin Lover" doesn't involve conjugating Latin verbs in bed.
- The only heavy breathing you've experienced this year was that asthma attack you had when the new Spiderman stamp set arrived.
- Husband wakes you up before dawn with a nudge and "Come on, honey, 'Little House on the Prairie' is about to start!"
- You switch from your usual plain vanilla to French vanilla because it sounds foreign and dangerous. |
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