"I really do not like counselors and new age and therapists and all that nonsense who claimed that being “clingy“ is the problem. Also, how do they even define clingy? How committed do you have to be before it becomes too much? Shouldn’t a person want to be committed if they are in a relationship? Why would I take up with someone in the first place unless I was really interested in them?
Interesting, if a man is NOT that interested in you, you are chastised for still accepting him And assuming he will make a good partner, even though “he’s just not that into you.”
I guess all these things really mean is “no no no, silly girl! Men are allowed to be wild about you, but you shouldn’t be wild about them in return.”
I guess the relationship is only for men to enjoy, so if women are too enthusiastic about it, something is wrong."
Alison Schmitt
"The thing is, I’ve seen people who are clingy and have terrible boundaries and poor social skills all in friendships and relationships.
Sometimes it feels like every idiot, bore, shallow, awkward, avoidant, insecure, messed up person on earth has a social circle and a romantic partner. But I, with all my desirable qualities and self awareness, and all the work I’ve done in therapy, I’m ignored and taken for granted repeatedly in my relationships.
I’d really love to know how this imbalance comes about. It’s like there are two different sets of rules in play."