| Conversations with God 006 |
[01 Jun 2010|01:00pm] |
I forget to set the alarm clock in the evening as a fall to sleep. I forget about everything then - I just want to escape this life for a while. I wake up at a random time, afterwards spending some time in bed awake, not willing to quit the world of my imagination, where my soul rests as my body rests here in reality, too. Reality. It has been affecting the world of my dreams too much lately. Just as unclear, full of riddles, unseen faces, uncertainty. I don't want to sleep. Don't want to wake up either.
You don't like the life, do you?
Oh how can I like it! They hate You together with the world You created! They strive to change every corner, every place on Earth, every thing! Trees to ashes, seas to deserts, water to dirt, food to poison, love to fornication, peace to war, cross to sword, life to slow gradual death...
You've got a work to do.
I have to go to work? Work... I must work with zeal. What for! In order to satisfy my sloth! I do one thing in order not to do many others. How did that happen to us! We've been trapped to slavery by our own sloth!
Now you understand, why these two words sound so much alike, don't you?
It's not my fault, not my sloth, that enslaves me! Civilization, humanity!
Really? Have you never loved civilization? These billions of lights, these trembling sounds of might of humanity, those millions of pleasures, that infinity of fancy items?
My poor little child. So lost. No way back. You've learned to be civilized and now when you've tasted a cheese in a mouse trap you try to change your mind. Remember that mouse in your house? It tore it's hand apart to get free from a mousetrap. It is free now. In the meadows. It will never return to your house. But it is not easy, it has lost it's hand after all. I must protect it on every step. And I do it. That's why you too must not be afraid.
I've already lost my sight almost entirely. You can't compare me with a mouse. Mole rat will suite me better.
How can I compare you with a mole rat? Mole rats die when they come out to light for too long.
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