| ~~~ Evolution ~~~ |
[03 Nov 2005|06:14pm] |
I decided to finally change my weblog to the form, I supposed it to be months ago:
- public articles are nonlatvian (english), except for latvian poetry.
- friends only articles are latvian only, except for nonlatvian poetry :-)
- private articles are for technical support only (links, memos, etc.)
However I was thinking, I should shut down my blog. The reason, why I created it, was my lonelyness. I wanted to compensate it somehow. I wanted to find an opportunity for my thoughts to be approachable from everywhere and for everyone. I found this opportunity here. But now everything is different.
I am not trying to say, I am no longer alone. But the thing is, that right now I've already got used to be this way. I need nobody. And I feel fine. This feeling - that there is no more "I". I just don't care about myself anymore. Don't seek for help. Don't care about "I". I am fully in disposition of my destiny.
No matter what and how I feel, I understand, that I shouldn't change everything radically. This place helped me live by making me want to seek for adventures, so I would have experiences to write about. I found adventures. But I don't see anything special about them. I like things special only. Otherwise I cannot write. I cannot remember... Maybe one day I will have a life to remember and share with others. That's why I will keep on bloggin anyway. Especially, maybe there is still a little bit of me or maybe even more, if we count, how many times I use the word "I" in this article. :-D But that's not the way it should be. Right now I am not what I want me to be. But who knows... Maybe one day, I will finally find myself. Finally be me.
|
|