Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 80 most recent ones recorded in FMyLife's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 -- Next 20 >> ]

Saturday, December 28th, 2013
9:14 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21007374 Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML (Comment on this)
9:14 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21007355 Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML (Comment on this)
Friday, December 27th, 2013
8:40 pm	Hungry says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21007096 Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	anon says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21006941 Today, I went to get a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	anon says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21006901 Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	good friend says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21006894 Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21006865 Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	William Johnson says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21006475 Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	Puick says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21006556 Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	NNTA says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21006441 Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21006306 Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21006112 Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML (Comment on this)
8:40 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21006067 Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 26th, 2013
8:09 pm	anon says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21005939 Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML (Comment on this)
8:09 pm	thanks_world says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21005822 Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML (Comment on this)
8:09 pm	detour165 says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21005745 Today, while staying at my brother's place for the Christmas holidays, I had to leave because he threatened to "take me outside". Apparently he doesn't like being corrected on whether a certain car has a long wheel base version, so I guess the family Christmas is over. FML (Comment on this)
8:09 pm	princesss_14 says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21005460 Today, I got a whistle key finder from my grandma for Christmas. This would have been nice if I could actually whistle. FML (Comment on this)
8:09 pm	Sophies says FML http://www.fmylife.com/money/21005375 Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML (Comment on this)
8:09 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21004910 Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML (Comment on this)
8:09 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21004875 Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML (Comment on this)