Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 40 most recent ones recorded in FMyLife's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 1st, 2014
11:15 pm	Snufflopagus says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21012735 Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML (Comment on this)
11:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21011680 Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML (Comment on this)
11:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21011655 Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML (Comment on this)
11:15 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21011588 Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML (Comment on this)
11:15 pm	awkword says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21011563 Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 31st, 2013
10:42 pm	gnafron says FML http://www.fmylife.com/animals/21011483 Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/work/21011264 Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21011242 Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	AnnoyedSister says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21010666 Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	smokecloud_ says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21010622 Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	bad luck skier says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21010566 Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	thejanamonster says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21010537 Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML (Comment on this)
10:42 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21010392 Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML (Comment on this)
Monday, December 30th, 2013
10:13 pm	Caimimi says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21010339 Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML (Comment on this)
10:13 pm	laurenasabutton says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21010276 Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML (Comment on this)
10:13 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21010264 Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML (Comment on this)
10:13 pm	candidcripple says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21010039 Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML (Comment on this)
10:13 pm	LeaveHimAlone says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21009908 Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML (Comment on this)
10:13 pm	Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21009861 Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML (Comment on this)
10:13 pm	HungerStrike says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21009569 Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML (Comment on this)