Time |
Event |
9:14p |
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9:14p |
Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21007374 Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML |
9:14p |
-__- says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21007435 Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML |
9:14p |
Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21007475 Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML |
9:14p |
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9:14p |
eyes wide SHIT says FML http://www.fmylife.com/animals/21007608 Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML |
9:14p |
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9:14p |
honeybunny90 says FML http://www.fmylife.com/animals/21008001 Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML |
9:14p |
Cacahuete says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21008243 Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML |
9:14p |
Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21007355 Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML |