| Time |
Event |
| 9:38p |
daenerys stromboli says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21008277 Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML |
| 9:38p |
Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21008373 Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML |
| 9:38p |
Anonymous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/21009271 Today, I took my girlfriend to see "Frozen," which she had been talking about for weeks. After I bought the snacks, she told me that she couldn't believe I was going to watch a princess movie and walked out on me for not being "manly." She took the popcorn with her. FML |
| 9:38p |
Jizzyface says FML http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/21009159 Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML |
| 9:38p |
heart broken says FML http://www.fmylife.com/love/21009083 Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML |
| 9:38p |
ConfusedDad says FML http://www.fmylife.com/kids/21008990 Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML |
| 9:38p |
Anonomous says FML http://www.fmylife.com/animals/21008605 Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML |
| 9:38p |
worstwaytodumpagirl says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21008500 Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML |
| 9:38p |
beemove says FML http://www.fmylife.com/health/21008430 Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML |