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[Mar. 28th, 2011|12:53 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[skaņas |There is a limit to your care]

Mani visu laiku šausta jautājumi par esamību -kas es esmu un ko es te daru?!?!
Kas ir tas no kurienes es nāku un ..un kas ir tas kur es eju!!
Kādēļ es dzīvoju kopā ar kādu cilvēku, ko zinu tikai pāris mēnešu, bet ne ar to ko mīlu??
Kādēļ - dzīvē notiek ..... tā!!!! Tā tik jocīgi, savādi, tik neprognazējami, tik...

Tik daudz teikumus es izdzēšu no šejienes.. tāpat kā dienas no savas dzīves dienas. Un tie teikumi paliks neuzrakstīti... tāpat kā manas dienas nepiepildītas. Un beigās tā būs mana dzīve, ko būšu nodzīvojis.
Manī ir iesēdusies viena stulba doma.. no kuras netieku vaļā un par kuru man pārmeta: kādēļ es esmu līdz šim centies kāda cita cilvēka dēļ!! Kādēļ es centos un darīju lietas viņas dēļ?
-Tādēļ, ka aiz 'viņa' seko - ģimene, drošība, stabilitāte - mājas.
Man tik ļoti gribējās bēbi..

Mja... ir ko padomāt, atkal. Puse no domām gan palika pie manis, bet tas tādēļ, ka tik vēlu izdomāju kaut ko še uzrakstīt.

Bet viena lieta ir skaidra, dzīve mūs pārbauda visu laiku - cik stipri mēs esam un ar kādām lietām un nelietām mēs varam tikt galā!!
Ja nevaram - tad tā tev riktīgi sados iekšā, ja varam tad, ļoti iespējams, pados kaut ko arī uz zelta paplātītēs. Jābeidz uz kaut kā pozitīva tak ar.... :D
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[Mar. 7th, 2011|11:20 am]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |darbā]

**Man ir sasodīti laba atmiņa, ja turu savu galvu "clear"... hrr!
Un tā mani dzen kapā...
Jādomā par nākotni, jā -right, bet vienmēr nemanot prātā iezogas kaut kas no pagātnes -atkal!!
besī..
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[Mar. 4th, 2011|08:49 pm]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |Karnevāls]

Heute Deutsches Abendessen :) so richtig kräftig Kartoffeln und Fleisch!
Priekā! Jägermeister + Nederlandse bier!

Pff, Karnevāls iet pilnā sparā... uhh! Besī :p bet ja alus ir pietiekami, tad var būt arī jautri klausoties stulbo holandiešu šlāgerus! :D
tad jau redzēs...
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Fckg gara diena! [Feb. 27th, 2011|01:52 am]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |tired]
[skaņas |JAMES BLAKE - The Wilhelm Scream]

Sasodīt noguris..
Bet drīz jau varēs atvilkt elpu, varbūt... :) gan jau!
Tik daudz kas izdarīts, bet tik daudz vēl priekšā.
Joprojām slikti guļu... Varbūt šonakt jaunā gultā?!


Kad ir ko teikt - ir jāsaka, jo tad beigās to nepateiks nekad.
Bet šodien es neteikšu vairāk neko... bet iekšā ir ..
Viss varēja būt citādāk.
Miegs ir labs.
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LIVE YOUR LIFE! [Feb. 21st, 2011|02:44 pm]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |working]
[skaņas |JAMES BLAKE]

THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE,
AND DO IT OFTEN.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, CHANGE IT.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR JOB, QUIT.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME, STOP WATCHING TV.
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, STOP;
THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU
START DOING THINGS YOU LOVE.
STOP OVER ANALYZING, LIFE IS SIMPLE.
OPEN YOUR MIND, ARMS AND HEART TO NEW THINGS
AND PEOPLE, WE ARE UNITED IN OUR DIFFERENCES.
ASK THE NEXT PERSON YOU SEE WHAT THEIR PASSION IS,
AND SHARE YOUR INSPIRING DREAM WITH THEM.
TRAVEL OFTEN;
GETTING LOST WILL HELP FIND YOURSELF.
SOME OPPORTUNITIES ONLY COME ONCE, SEIZE THEM
LIFE IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MEET, AND THINGS YOU CREATE WITH THEM - SO GO OUT AND START CREATING. LIVE YOUR DREAM,
AND WEAR YOUR PASSION. LIFE IS SHORT.
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killing our dreams [Feb. 21st, 2011|01:44 am]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |sleepy]
[skaņas |silence]

Let's call them: Symptoms..


The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

-Paulo Coelho
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Pārvākšanās [Feb. 19th, 2011|01:18 pm]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |drunk]
[skaņas |30 seconds to mars]

Šodien krāmēju mantas... Piekto reizi jau 2 gadu laikā Holandē pārvācos..
Nedaudz skumji... un tas ir diezgan nogurdinoši!
Bet manā gadījumā šīs pārmaiņas ir arī vajadzīgas, jo nekādā gadījumā nevaru atlaisties uz kaut kādiem "uzvaras" lauriem.
Mana cīņa tikai sākās!

Iedomājos arī par to cik ļoti mūs iespaido un ietekmē mājas kurās mēs dzīvojam!!
Kā mēs jūtamies un ko mēs darām... kad dzīvojam tur vai šeit.
Man ir ļoti svarīga mājīguma sajūta!

Labi, atpakaļ pie krāmēšanās... :p besī :p
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me [Feb. 18th, 2011|06:46 pm]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |worried]
[skaņas |trouble]

Es esmu bijis slikts draugs savai bijušajai draudzenei… (Tu šo visdrīzāk nelasi, jo tev manis ir bijis pār-pārēm..), bet to es skaidri zinu, ka esmu izdarījis tik daudz kļūdu un neko no tā neesmu spējis salabot...
Un vai vispār kko ir iespējams salabot.. ?
Vispār jau ir jautājums, cik gudrs es esmu bijis, ka esmu nonācis līdz tam.. un sataisījis tik daudz kļūdu.
Viss ir iepriekšēju darbību rezultāts.. kā tajos teicienos:
Ko sēsi, to pļausi!
Tu saņemsi to, ko tu dosi.. nevis otrādi!

Kad paiet laiks un tu sāc skatīties uz lietām jau mierīgā prātā… tik daudz secinājumu!
-tas ne tā!
-tas šitā!

*Kaut kur zemapziņā vienmēr esmu iedomājies, ka mani mājās gaida mīloša meitene un to vienmēr gaidīju no Tevis, bet lai tā būtu pašam ir jādod tieši tas pats.

Bet ..mūsu attiecības neatbilst nevienai rokasgrāmatai utml... ir bijis tik dažādi..!

Kad toreiz pārcēlāmies uz Bredu, praktiski 2 mēnešus pavadīju mācībās un treniņos, atstāju tevi vienu.. nedzirdēju, nejutu... pazaudēju!
Pirms tam arī... esmu staigājis ar degunu mākoņos vai arī skatījies tālumā un neredzējis kas notiek deguna priekšā!!

***bāc, mans mājas biedrs klausās S.O.A.D... man tā grupa patīk, bet tagad vnk padara traku!!!!!

Bet beigās mēs viens otru esam izstūmuši ārā no bedrēm, kurās bijām ieslīguši... un joprojām ar katru dienu kārpamies uz augšu.
Es esmu priecīgs!
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Crazy night.. 2 [Feb. 18th, 2011|12:32 am]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |accomplished]
[skaņas |Gustavo]

....

....

Es esmu tik ļoti EMO... pat iepatikās dažas dziesmas no 30 seconds to Mars :)

..iet pie friziera vai ... :))
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My case [Feb. 17th, 2011|01:51 pm]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |sunny]
[skaņas |Goo Goo Dolls]

Just found an article, which describes my last two years: Fight between heart and mind.

Have you ever experienced staying in a relationship that you know is not good for you, and yet you stayed anyway? I’m sure lots of women out there have experienced this “heart over mind” situation; their mind is telling them to let go, but their heart is pleading for them to hold on. It’s not an easy situation to be in. There’s always an internal struggle going on that keeps one from having peace of mind. It’s really exhausting having to deal with that struggle each and every day. And yet because most women are scared to lose the men in their lives, they choose to follow their heart instead.

There’s this song by Diana Ross, which is the exact same title of this post: Heart, Don’t Change My Mind. I really love this song, it’s sad and heartbreaking, and I know those who find themselves in this situation will be able to relate to this song. It really IS hard letting go of someone that you have loved for so long. You’ve given everything that you have into the relationship, everything that you are, and yet it still won’t work out and you still end up with a broken heart.

What most women fail to consider is that some relationships are really not meant to be. But because of a wide variety of reasons, they force it. They think that if they just hang in there, hold on, things are going to change for the better. Wrong. If a relationship is not meant to be, there is nothing that you can do to change that. You can stay, but you’ll be miserable. What you can do, is accept reality, and move on. It’s easier said than done, but that’s the truth.

Okay, so your mind is all made up, and you’re ready to do the right thing, but what do you do when your heart refuses to cooperate? It’s not going to be an easy task, you have to have enough courage to mute your heart and listen to reason. It’s never easy, because it hurts like hell. But it’s the only way to be truly free. It’s no use staying in a relationship when you know in your heart that’s it’s not meant to be. Your heart knows it, but refuses to accept it; and this is never good. You are trapped in the struggle, and if you’re not careful, you might not be able to get out.

Bottom line is, know when to follow your heart and know when to listen to your mind. It’s very important that you learn how to control your emotions. It’s important that you own your emotions, because if you allow them, they will consume you and control you, and it won’t be pretty.

With men it's very simple always - YES or NO, BLACK or WHITE, but not always.
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brain [Feb. 17th, 2011|09:34 am]
[Tags|]
[:) + ;) =)) |optimistic]
[skaņas |telephone rings..]

Nodarbinu savu prātu ar visādām figņām!
Vakar vakarā sāku lasīt žurnālus, kurus biju nolicis plauktiņā un uz kuriem jau bija sākuši krāties putekļi.
Padomā ir arī kāda kvantu fizikas grāmatiņa..
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