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Augusts 4., 2005
![[info]](http://klab.lv/img/userinfo.gif) coda | 23:12 - by roberta
But sometimes you just want a beautiful dress. You've wanted it all along, but it's so expensive... and all the other girls stand there in front of the window, also looking at it, also desiring it...
And then you go in and try it on and since it is the dress you have ALWAYS wanted, you feel perfect and pretty and like a princess... even though it doesn't quite fit. Well, and then you diet for a week and you starve yourself and you feel worse and worse but finally the dress suits and you spend all you have on this dress.
When you wear it in public every girl envies you and you feel gorgeous... but you cannot always diet and starve yourself. You cannot always hold your hunger back. And you face reality again and start eating and slowly the dress stops fitting you and you realise that it only fits you when you're something you are not in reality...
This is the time you grow out of it. And you have to return it... and you flee from the shop because you cannot stand seeing another girl buying it. A girl who has the body to wear it, which means it will fit her and she - in comparison to you - doesn't have to change and adapt to the dress... because the dress fits her just like she is.
You don't know the effort a girl put into getting herself to fit the dress. You will just take a walk in the city and suddenly you see her with YOUR dress. And you think that she's not supposed to wear it, although it's not yours anymore. You will think about the great time you had in that dress and how great it felt wearing it... you will have forgotten about all the pain of changing yourself for it. Your memory of the past will be blurred.
And while hating her for wearing the dress you don't even think about the possibility that, she too, may be on a diet to fit it. And that she can't go on like that forever... and that one day it will also get too small for her... the day when she, too, stops acting and changing herself... because nobody can do that forever...
And all the time you - or she or everybody else - has never thought about the other possibility: i.e. that you could also make the dress fit you. But you just don't even think about it... I mean it looks so pretty and perfect at first sight. That means if you have trouble putting it on, something is wrong with you, not the dress, right?
I don't mean you have to ask... but there are strech clothes, you know... sometimes a dress adapts to you without you having to violently make it fit you (sewing etc.). Sometimes a dress is flexible. If it's a good dress it should be. At least a little bit.
That's what I mean. I mean... okay, I know I am a bit too obsessive and as I said I tend to change myself too dramatically to make somebody special love me... or hope it would happen if I do change myself. But let's face it: in a perfect relationship everybody should adapt a bit to the partner... if a guy sees that I miss and need him and he is invited by his friends, he can cancel the football-evening and be with me instead... and if I see that he doesn't want to e.g. go through a certain thing alone, I can accompany him, even if I don't really enjoy it... give AND take.
Eventually, you know, it's not the dress's fault that it's ugly... it might be perfect for another girl. Taste varies. ... and in case you really don't want to go naked and are not patient enough to wait for the perfect dress to be sewn, go and spice the "ugly" one up! Attatch some buttons to it, some fringes, ah, whatever. As I said dressed can be changed (a little). Personalise it a bit... get used to it and you will like it more the longer you keep it and experience wonderful moments for new memories with it. Like an old, ugly doll but you love it so much because you've been through so much together.
Poor ugly dress if you drop it just to exchange it for the better one. But if the better one REALLY fits you this time it's okay to get rid of the old one. ... but if you later on regret it (because you find out that your "perfect" dress is not what it seemed to be) it's difficult to get the old dress back. You already got rid of it. Keep this in mind.
Keep shopping like a madman until you find the right one. Haha. That sounds kinky.
I love it.
You wait until someone offers you a dress... like a friend telling you "Oh you know what, Chris, I have this great dress. It would suit you perfectly. I'll take it along the next time I come and visit you!" ... or you wait until you find one. You know, sometimes you even find dresses that do not belong to anybody.
You are [a dress]. We all are. Somebody is also looking for you... cause you might fit somebody.
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