paradoksu karuselis un cukurvates smiekli

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vēl no pērnā gada man ir simple diary (simplediary.com). pirmsākumā laikam biju domājusi, ka tā būs dāvana, tad atstāju sev. protams, gada lielāko daļu tā čakli krāja plauktā putekļus, reizi pa reizei kaut ko iekleksēju, pirms nedēļas atkal sāku kleksēt sistemātiski. šodienas raksturošanai bija šāda izvēle: sweet violin, rally, a punch in the belly. guess what my day was... yeah...
domas kā sabirzis marta sniegs, asi, graudaini, nespodri un noguruši krikumi. slepenībā no visiem, pat pašai no sevis, uzbūvēt veselu stikla pasauli, tas laikam ir jāmāk. jo kaut kur, droši vien ja tais pašos sieviešu žurnālos, māca - ja kaut ko tik ļoti gribi, ka sirds pamirst, tad jāizliekas, ka tev vienalga. neliec visu uz vienas kārts. jā jā. universu tāpat nepiemānīsi, jo viņš zina. manam dīķītim pārvelkas klusuma ledus garoziņa. jo es neesmu karotāja. neesmu drosmīga varbūt. jo domāju, ka ar drosmi tam maz sakara. varbūt lepna, jā, pie malas "varbūt", protams, ka esmu. taču šobrīd visvairāk esmu sarūgtināta un nogurusi. shift+delete. enter.
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