Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in big_maga's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 7th, 2010
1:57 am	OMG OMG!!! DYPA HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
1:11 am	Haiyo Haiyo!! ::bounce bounce:: 22 days until Christmas... whoo!!... as I listen to very non-Christmas-y music... ^^: Um... I didn't make any choirs in All-State... ^^: Less work, I say! And also the Florida trip was cancelled... even less work! But St. Louis might be cancelled... I hope not, I wanna go sing Christmas carols in the Basilica! Umm... nuffink much else to add... such a boring life I lead... ^^: a bientot! (Comment on this)
Monday, January 4th, 2010
9:27 pm	Saying I love youIs not the words I want to hear from youIt's not that I want youNot to say Saying I love youIs not the words I want to hear from youIt's not that I want youNot to say, but if you only knewHow easy it would be to show me how you feelMore than words is all you have to do to make it realThen you wouldn't have to say that you love meCause I'd already knowWhat would you do if my heart was torn in twoMore than words to show you feelThat your love for me is realWhat would you say if I took those words awayThen you couldn't make things newJust by saying I love youMore than wordsNow that I've tried to talk to you and make you understandAll you have to do is close your eyesAnd just reach out your hands and touch meHold me close don't ever let me goMore than words is all I ever needed you to showThen you wouldn't have to say that you love meCause I'd already knowWhat would you do if my heart was torn in twoMore than words to show you feelThat your love for me is realWhat would you say if I took those words awayThen you couldn't make things newJust by saying I love youMore than wordsMore than words (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
6:22 pm	Grah Grah... today was bad. Four students were kicked out of school for drugs... I think they were the ring-leaders. One of them was Travis. I still can't believe Travis is gone... school's going to be so different... Cory Curtsinger was also expelled, as well as Will Smith. There was someone else... I heard Knuit's name, but I'm not sure who that forth person is. I guess we'll find out on Monday. But yeah... it was a bad day. The whole school was buzzing about it during activity period, and Dance was cut short for an emergency assembly. -_- Why people would do that... mon Dieu. ::sigh:: And now I have All-State auditions... lord help me! (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
4:58 pm	::chuckle:: I'm actually supposed to be doing homework, but... ovbiously I'm not. ^^: Quid novi, peeps? Um... I... 'finished'... Huck Finn... with the aide of PinkMonkey.com. Hehe. I couldn't take the weirdness of Tom Sawyer much longer, so I opted for the easy way out. Oh, I asked my parents if I could go to Florida for MUN, and they said that I could if I found a way to pay for my meals. So I'm going to try to make and sell bath salts for Christmas presents. ^^: Um... I didn't really do much this weekend... oh, but I drove. And nearly ran into a fire hydrant. It was in my way. ^^: Lol, the sun was literally in my eyes, and next thing I know I'm four inches away after I slam on the breaks. Daddy squealed like a piglet. ^^: I'm not a bad driver, really... I just need some sunglasses, lol. Plus it was my third time driving... I now have about four hour of driving experience under my belt. ^^: Um... the rest of the weekend I cleaned and sewed patches onto my vest for Girl Scouts like the little homemaker I am... I told Spencer I was practicing. ^^; I also talked to Spencer on the phone for a long while. ^^: Um... that's about how exciting my weekend went... au revoir! (Comment on this)
Friday, January 1st, 2010
2:45 pm	Nuffink much to add today Nuffink much to add today... ^^: Dance was pretty fun, we worked on the barre and all the usual stiff. The freshmen in gym keep peeking in on our dance class... especially the boys. Perverts. Um... God talked to Dr. Caron again. ^^: In the middle of the Psych test, she goes, 'God said you can use ya cahds.' ::snicker:: I love her accent. Um... Spencer and I walk around school in the afternoon and just talk and cuddle. ^^;; Geawd, we're a sappy couple... Kristina passed by us when we were in the stairwell, and she grinned and gave me a thumb's up. I just laughed. But yeah, I missed being with Spencer. I like how we've just dropped back into our usual habit after nearly a year. Um... Jim taught me how to play Magic: The Gathering on Friday during lunch... ^^: I like my deck, but I wish I had some elves. All I have are samurai. I beat Jim, but I think that was because he didn't attack. ^^: I think that's all... a bientot! (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 31st, 2009
1:49 pm	I'm not single anymore I'm not single anymore! Yay! I'm still not sure who asked who out, but Spencer and I are a couple again. It was funny, Travis saw us together and he gave me this huge hug to see if Spencer would get jealous. I just flailed my arms and was like, 'Spencer, save mee!' Um... we talked last night until nearly midnight. ^^: But yeah, I'm happy we're together again. I was in a pathetic state beforehand. Umm... lol, not much else to add, a bientot! (Comment on this)
1:53 am	Normally I love going on AS to debate and stuff Normally I love going on AS to debate and stuff... but now I feel like I kill every thread that I post on. A bunch of people see me as the smart kid, as most of the people there are in Uni or about to go to Uni, but maybe they see me as a know-it-all. Yugoloth replied to one of my questions, and I debated his post by posting a reply... and no one has replied since, even him. When I create a new thread, barely anyone responds to it, but when Matt and Kali start a new thread, it's all the rage. I dunno... I feel especially young there. Kinda like, the kid you pat on the head and nod to what they say, but think otherwise. I dunno... I just feel awkward now, both online and IRL. Like how Dianne and Alexis are invited to parties and stuff with people our age group... I mean, I'm older than both of them by I think six months, but they seem more mature than I am in that way. I'm the shy one who's teacher's pet and always has my nose stuck in a book. I dunno... I guess that's why I feel more comfortable around adults, because they don't judge as quickly. Like when I was shadowing Mommy, and when I was with Kip. That was just awesome. Compare that to... heck, just class, and I'm a completely different person. Lol, add to that the fact that I feel *completely* and absolutely single at the moment, and that the moon is full ::cough cough:: and I'm an emotional disaster. Lord, I wish I was already in Uni... at least I could do what I want, and I won't feel as insecure. Insecurity sucks. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 29th, 2009
10:03 pm	I woke up at I woke up at... I think around four or five this morning and I couldn't sleep. All I could think of doing was working on my story, and now that I'm actually working on it, all my brilliant ideas have fled. Marf. Here's a couple lines I know I'm going to use...The old Claire's movements were careful, precise, calculated, a grace ingrained through the discipline of ballet. This grace was a liquid-fire grace native to the plains of Africa; a grace with subconcious strength imbued in each individual tissue of muscle, every little movement clearly screaming "power!" ==I opened my eyes only to quickly shut them again. What evil, sadistic nymph turned the sun on bright? I blindly reached over and pulled loose the cord holding back the thick curtains, immediately plunging my room into a semi-darkness. The sun continued to glow merrily at the bottom of the curtains, the light reflecting slightly off of the white carpet. I slowly opened my scrunched eyes, and surprisingly, the room was as bright as if I had left the curtains open. Looking at my Legolas poster, I was surprised by what I saw. I still saw the serious-faced elf carefully examining his bow, but if I focused hard enough, I could also make out each individual dot making up the picture. Kind of like when you take a magnifying glass to a newspaper comic strip. I sat up, trying to get that information to process. The movement caused a stinging pain in my neck. Reaching up carefully, I felt two scabbed-over puncture wounds on my jugular. "What the hell?" I said aloud, then winced. Ow, too loud... My own voice sounded grating to my ears. What exactly happened at the party last night? I remembered walking away from Rian and sitting by the woods... then that boy appeared. His piercing golden gaze held me paralyzed, hypnotized... His silky voice, warm like velvet, an odd accent... then a whispering voice in my head, and darkness. An icy wave of fear washed over me. Was I drugged? Raped? Experimentally, I prodded my thighs, checking for soreness. None found, I was slightly comforted. Slightly. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand to check what time it was. The red numbers blazed angrily with a demonic gleam, announcing that it was eight-forty. Twenty minutes until work. I stood quickly, surprised at how little effort it seemed to take. Ookay... things are getting just a wee bit freaky. After making my bed, I padded over to my closet. Opening it, I hissed slightly at the bright colours beaming cheerfully at me. The normally pastel blues and pinks seemed exceptionally bright for some reason. I picked out a black turtleneck and slacks, the colour seeming to be the easiest on my eyes, and quickly shut the closet door. Glancing at the clock, I determined that I wouldn't have enough time to take a shower. Mentally grumbling, I dressed and hid my hair under a dark grey berret. I made a mental note to take a pair of sunglasses with me before I left the house. =="I think I'm going crazy," I complained to Patrick. I put my head on my arms and heaved a sigh.He ran a hand through his spiky black, golden tipped hair and glanced at me while preparing a frothe. "You probably are," he teased. "I'm being serious, Patrick," I replied, my voice muffled.He gave the frothe to the waiting customer, rang him up, then sat down at the stool beside me. "The doctor is in," he proclaimed. "Not so loud," I whined pitifully. "Okay, so spill. What is it that has you dressing like a beatnik?""I don't know," I mumbled. "All that I know is that when I woke up, the sun was way too bright, every sound is making my head hurt, all the smells are making me nauseated..." I ended my rant, my face still burrowed in my arms. "Sounds to me like you're hung over," he joked. Trust Patrick to never have a serious answer. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
7:46 pm	I had a weird dream last night I had a weird dream last night... all that I remember of it was that I picked up a book and it said, "'Walking Night's Paths,' by Laura..." and the rest of the name was blurry. The thing is after I woke up, all these ideas flooded into my brain. Maybe this is what my first book will be? Okay, here's what I have so far. The story takes place in present day, the main character has a perfect life. So far. Until one day she's bitten by a vampire, and her perfect world slowly shatters. It'll be about her rebuilding her life and starting anew... but that's all I can remember from after I woke up. I'm excited! But I don't know where to start! More later! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
3:56 pm	Oh Oh, it was great today! Apparently my mom was able to snatch a doctor and ask if I could follow a CRNA around, and five minutes later I was with them in the operating room! ::glow, glow:: I oberved an abdominoplasy, which consisted of lyposuction and removing the lower stomach fat. To put it frankly, it was a disgusing proceedure. It was amazing how much fat a person could have in their lower stomach alone... and it weighed in at around 3.5 pounds. I didn't feel sick or anything watching the proceedure, but I felt lightheaded when I first went in the OR because of the surgical mask. It felt like I was being smothered... but after a while it became easier to breathe. The CRNA who was with me (Kip, he's an awesome guy!) took me to the side where the fat was cut out and jokingly said, "hey, look! You can take it home and use it as a soup base!" Needless to say, that comment made me lose my appetite. The proceedure looked very painful... I was glad that the lady was knocked out and on some very good drugs. But I liked the atmosphere in the OR compared to the recovery room... the recovery room seemed very tame compared to the OR. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 26th, 2009
2:18 pm	Today I got to shadow my mom at work Today I got to shadow my mom at work, in the recovery room. It was pretty fun, it was pretty much a routine to follow: make the patient comfortable, check vital signs, complete report, and bring them to either short stay or their room. I even got to dress up in some scrubs, lol. In between the cases that I helped my mom in (I just put little stickers with the patient's name on their charts) I read a little... and when I helped bring the patient to their next destination, people would stare at me with this look that plainly said, "wait, she's too young to be a nurse..." It was interesting, to say the least. I may get to shadow a CRNA or nurse anestietist next week, but I have to have the permission of the patient and the doctor. ^^: From what I've seen so far, I like nursing. I guess it's because I like taking care of people, and it's a systematic procedure that I can fall into routine fairly easily (as long as I don't do trauma). For the most part, the patients were too knocked out on anestisia to do anything drastic, they mainly moan about how they hurt from their surgery or snore away. I learned one major thing from observing: if you don't know how to put something back in, make sure the patient can't pull it out. There was a gastric bypass patient who came in, and they had to restrain her hands with face towels (she was knocked out completely) to make sure that she would not remove a tube that was removing excess stomach fluid. Anywho, I can't wait to go back and shadow again, I'm already enjoying nursing. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 24th, 2009
8:25 am	It's summer break at last It's summer break at last!! Whoo-hoo! I took this quizzie... My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, Elf Selector (better than the first!), is Arwen You are the light fairy. She who is of comfort, andfriends. She who is nice to anyone who comesher way. Beware of who you make friends with,some friends can turn their backs. You can seethings in people that others cannot. This is anawesome trait, keep up the good work! **The ultimate Fairy quiz**(anime pics!) for girls, but if you are a guy you can take it too! !**being improved more**! brought to you by QuizillaYeah. ^^; Nothing much has happened since I last wrote... Chamber and Women's choir earned superiors at both district and state (Chamber even beat SCA!!) We got a puppy on Saturday!! Her name is Mei Mei, and she's an 8 week old white west highland terrier who thinks that the world is her chewtoy and the kitchen floor is her potty. She's a tiny blur of energy with little needle-sharp teeth. Anywho, more later!! (Comment on this)
Friday, January 23rd, 2009
6:29 am	Hallo Hallo! Yes, I have been neglecting you, my poor, poor journal... No matter, I am back! ::sings:: I'm munching cantaloupe and bored out o' me mind. Oh, here's a poem I wrote yesterday... I was in a lonely mood yesterday. Still the SameOne step forward, two steps back seems to be the pattern for today. My dreamsecho subconscious wishes that cause me to falter in decisions already made. A new world is within my grasp, but I push it back, clinging to the past. Idelude myself, thinking that you lovedme still the same, though this is a lie. At first I dreamt that you came forth to claim my hand. Now I just wish forfriendship. Perhaps with time some other noble knight will come forth to soothe my healing heart. Until that day, I shall continue to dream that you lovedme still the same. Book of Days and Marble Halls by EnyaBut I'm in a better mood, thanks for asking!! Whoo hoo! I feel like I want to make something, but seeing as I lack any creative supplies, I must resort to just reading, muching on cantaloupe, and listening to my mix CDs. Oh, how dearly I miss my Aki's Mix 7 cd... Smoke on the Water... a fire in the sky... I think there's something in the cantaloupe... maybe this is how Allison stays filled with nervous energy 24/7. ^_^;; Ciao! (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 22nd, 2009
2:22 am	It's effing April and it snowed today It's effing April and it snowed today. Snow! That's Tennessee weather for you... including the fact that it melted once hitting the ground. Grr! Today was fairly boring, I was tired because I'm now used to going to bed at 12-ish, so I took some Benedryl to help me go to sleep... and I woke up with a fuzzy head, feeling nauseous, and just plain icky. First class was Theology, and we just reviewed the whole time, so I tried to nap. Didn't work. The rest of the day went by uneventfully, which was good and bad in a way. Oh! I presented my Chem project today, and I think I did okay... my mouth was dry, I kept running over my words, and stuttering, but I got it over with! I reread what I wrote for my short story, Autumn in A Minor, and I'm itching to revise some things... minor, but I'm still itching to rewrite them. Lessee... Oh yeah, my computer is possessed by some evil demonic spirit of the internet. For some weird reason, wordpad went bye bye, and Windows Media Player went on strike. I downloaded a new version of Media Player, but I can't find another wordpad. Grah. Oh, and yesterday I think I might have peeved Katie... I asked if they were still tormenting Spencer for being a butt, and she said yes (she was smiling, too). I asked if she could tell her mom to stop doing that, because I know what it's like to be tormented (as I torment myself with thoughts of Hobbit Boy) and she went, "Oh... okay." Then she seemed a little put down, but she seemed cheerful after a little bit. I dunno. I need to learn to keep my thoughts to myself sometimes. Well, that's it for today... ciao!! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
12:19 am	It's Easter It's Easter! Whaa-hoo! At mass, we were late (as usual, what else is new?) and I was walking up for Communion, being happy, then I saw Spencer. It was funny, because my mind was like, 'Ack!' then went silent. After mass, Katie and Amy came up to me and said hello, and Katie told me she had a card for me. I opened it later in the car, and it was an Easter friendship card with a $15 gift certificate for Barnes and Nobles. I laughed, and Mommy said they were probably apologizing for Spencer being a butt.We went to the Dy's house for Uncle John's birthday. I stayed with Dianne a majority of the time, and I met her boyfriend, Nathan. Nathan seems nice, but Courtney was telling me at camp that Dianne's relationship with him was rediculous, as she would sneak around to meet him. The Twins and Mia were with us as well, and it was pretty fun. We just sat there talking and laughing, and I felt like a normal teenager. I need to get out more, I'm too reclusive. To me, school is just school. It's fun, yeah, but it's just school. Just by listening to Dianne, it seems like I'm missing out. Ah well, it was cool to hang with her again just the same. After all, we're in different classes, and also have different friends. All we have now is Girl Scouts connecting us, but just barely, as I usually hang around Katie and Amy's troop. Anywho, ciao! (Comment on this)
Monday, January 19th, 2009
9:43 pm	These are quiz results as I'm really bored These are quiz results as I'm really bored... ^^; A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love ofsports. Reality sucks, but as long as you haveyour electronics you feel you can cope. Timegoes unnoticed when youre locked in your roomhooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to yourfavourite collection of guitar-driven albums.Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,individuality.Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.Your Personality type is the only type that wouldlike this cool Vampire Game: www.life-blood.vze.com What kind of girl are you? brought to you by Quizilla[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]These are quiz results as I'm really bored... ^^; <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/E/EerieFreek/1061477685_opGAME-BOY.JPG" border="0" alt="GAME BOY - Born to Play"><br>A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of<br>sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have<br>your electronics you feel you can cope. Time<br>goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room<br>hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your<br>favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,<br>individuality.Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,<br>action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.<BR><BR>Your Personality type is the only type that would<br>like this cool Vampire Game: <BR> www.life-<br>blood.vze.com<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/EerieFreek/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20girl%20are%20you%3F/"> <font size="-1">What kind of girl are you?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/coolcatcatherine/1059512927_deringeyes.jpg" border="0" alt="Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and as many say "Your head is in the clouds." "><br>Your: Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and<br>your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and<br>as many say "Your head is in the<br>clouds." <br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/coolcatcatherine/quizzes/What%20type%20of%20eyes%20do%20you%20have%3F/"> <font size="-1">What type of eyes do you have?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/I/Iceangel143/1078085514_cturescalm.JPG" border="0" alt="calm"><br>You have a Calm Soul! Being calm and cool is what<br>you do best. You collected thoughts and always<br>positive attitude make you very bright and<br>logical. When theres a problem, you know how to<br>approach it, and solve it. Your friends rely on<br>you on their problems, and your shoulder for<br>their crying. You are peaceful, and enjoy<br>nature and freedom. You rarely get angry and<br>hardly scream, which makes you good with kids.<br>You seem to be in tune with the world and if<br>anything goes wrong, you always bounce back.<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/Iceangel143/quizzes/What%20Kind%20of%20SOUL%20do%20you%20posses%3F%20(For%20Girls%20only)%20Incredible%20Anime%20Pictures!/"> <font size="-1">What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/M/madpiratejenny/1036300723_yfulresult.jpg" border="0" alt="playful"><br>Playful<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/madpiratejenny/quizzes/What's%20your%20sexual%20appeal%3F/"> <font size="-1">What's your sexual appeal?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 18th, 2009
6:34 pm	My voice is back My voice is back! Lol, I was practically mute for a day, my throat was in ribbons, but now if I cough to clear the phlegm, I sound nearly normal, aside from sounding as if I were hacking up my left lung. We had chorus practice today after school, and it was pretty cool, the group sounded so pretty! I can't wait until Festival! Nothing much else is new, but I've decided I'm going to pretty much give up my hopes on Spencer. The Spencer I fell in love with died back in November, and I need to get over that and move on. The Michael who was my partner in crime and evil twin aparently died as well, now that he believes that I'm too immature to hang out with. Maybe this was what Trisha dreamed of in that nightmare of hers... she dreampt that Spencer died in a car accident, and Michael was the driver, but survived... then again, that may very well play out. My time with Spencer was nearly always pure bliss, and I always looked forward to those Saturday mornings at Pets Mart where we could be with each other and have fun by taking care of animals at the same time, but those days are in the past. I have new friends, but I don't feel as close to them as I did with Spencer, Michael, and PJ... I just wish for them to have friends that love them in return, and for Spencer to find someone to love and for him to love in return as much as I did and still do now. He may be an arse at the moment, but there's something/someone better for him out there who he won't feel threatened around, because of my liberal-ish thinking and beliefs. God, Allah, Buddha, Goddess or whatever deity hears me... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 17th, 2009
3:18 pm	These are some found poems that we were given in Creative Writing These are some found poems that we were given in Creative Writing... it shows the stupidity of American politicians. The Unknown- taken fron news briefings and speeches of Donald RumsfeldThe UnknownAs we know, There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to sayWe know there are some thingsWe do not know. But there is also unknown unknowns,The ones be don't knowWe don't know. -End-I say, why the redundancy? Just say, 'we don't know all the details yet.' Lerdy-day. Now one from our 'oh-so-beloved' president...Make the Pie HigherI think we all agree, the past is over. This is still a dangerous world. It is a world of madmen and uncertaintyAnd potential mental losses. Rarely is the question askedIs our children learning?Will the highways of the Internet Become more few?How many hands have I shaked?They misunderestimate me. I am the pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity. I know that the human beingAnd the fish can coexist. Families is where our nation finds hope, Where our wings take dream. Put food on your family!Knock down the tollbooth!Vulcanize society!Make the pie higher!Make the pie higher!-End- Oookay... I notion that we question the competance of our president, and prevent "mad Cowboy disease" by electing another person like him... or at least someone who can properly read the cue cards. Sheesh. My favourite is the pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity thing. But what's with the 'make the pie higher' thingy? Perhaps we don't understand it because he's 'misunderestimated.' (Comment on this)
Friday, January 16th, 2009
12:44 pm	School today was pretty boring School today was pretty boring. I can't wait until the summer, I want out! The classes bore me. What I did enjoy was that in Latin, we only had seven students in class, so we had a study hall. I finished my book, and went to check out another one, this time a historical fiction. Lately I've been more tired than usual, even if I sleep early-ish. I dunno why, and I keep having dreams that make me miss Spencer more. Why can't I just get over him? ::sigh:: Angst, it's what's for dinner, mate. Anywho, ciao! (Comment on this)