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BLAD [Jul. 3rd, 2009|10:42 pm]
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It seems that a miracle has happened after all -> I didn't slaughter anyone. Even my gran.
And I didn't commit a suicide either.
And.. Speaking of suicides...
I've had a peep into My_Suicide_Book today, while waiting for my turn to enjoy the waves.. and this one caught my eye:

"Wanting to die seems like it might be a part of being alive."

/Nick Hornby "A Long Way Down"/


It came again and again into some pointless discussion with myself -> if I'm alive I want to die. But if I'm already dead I don't want to die. [Nice. Very reasonable.] Is wanting to live then a part of being dead? And what if I'm alive and don't want to die? Is it possible to be dead while living? [this last one is just perfect, if I'm going to talk to a shrink. I should keep it in my mind.]

Then, all sudden, someone said to me [in my head]:

"One of the first signs of uderstanding is the wish to die."

/Franz Kafka/


So -> my conclusion -> 'part of being alive is understanding.'
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