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[Jul. 24th, 2006|11:06 pm]
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Why is it that every four weeks or so, some Chinese guy calls my pager? Who is this Lo Cell, and what does he want with me?
(Dave Henry)

***

The Top Signs You're *Not* Living La Vida Loca

- When they refer to you as "Hot," they always throw in "and sweaty."

- Your stolen couch was identified by your ass-print.

- Ricky Martin: cover of People, Rolling Stone, etc.
You: cover of Bridge Players Monthly.

- Just a *wee* too much cooking sherry and you end up dancing around the neighborhood with a lampshade on your head.

- You're only halfway through "Living la Vida Loca for Dummies."

- Your wife has to explain that being a "Latin Lover" doesn't involve conjugating Latin verbs in bed.

- The only heavy breathing you've experienced this year was that asthma attack you had when the new Spiderman stamp set arrived.

- Husband wakes you up before dawn with a nudge and "Come on, honey, 'Little House on the Prairie' is about to start!"

- You switch from your usual plain vanilla to French vanilla because it sounds foreign and dangerous.
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