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[Jul. 18th, 2009|10:31 am]
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"Bad." "Dangerous." "Smooth Criminal." "The Way You Make Me Feel." "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough." Well, you can't say Michael Jackson didn't try to warn us about this prescription drug issue.
Brad Simanek

I told my clone this morning to pay close attention to what I had to say because I didn't want to have to repeat myself again.
Jerry L. Embry


News Headlines from the National Probe

- Tony Romo Dumps Jessica Simpson, Is Spotted on Training Field With Hands Under Another Man's Ass
- Exploding Fuel Tanker in Detroit Causes Estimated $10M in Improvements
- Aging Hippies Agree: "Cloud" Computing Sounds Kinda Trippy
- Modern Technology Helps NASA Reproduce Better Copies of Fake Moon Landing
- Rescuers Race to Save Liz Cheney From a Publicity Well


The Top Slogans for Pet Airways

- Feel Free to Hump the Landing Gear
- Here (to There), Kitty, Kitty
- If It's Raining Cats and Dogs, They Might Be Yours!
- The Antidote for Domestication
- Two by Two, Come Aboard!
- All Flight Attendants Proficient in Behind-the-Ear Scratching
- Pet Airways: a Cat Fight on Every Flight!
- Sit! Buckle Up! Good Boy, Here's Your Treat!
- Something Spaniel in the Hair
- Take Off Into the Wild Blue Dander
- This Time, Your Master Rides in the Hold
- We Have to Earn Your Wings Every Day
- We Really Wag Our Tails for You
- We Let You Keep Your Nuts!
- Your Goldfish Will Survive the Flight or We'll Get You a New One!
- Pet Airways Is Bitchin'
- Even If the Stick Is in Denver, Now You Can Go Get It, Boy!
- No TSA lines, Thanks to Butt-Sniff(TM) Identification!
- Migrating? Let's See Elmer Fudd Shoot This Baby Out of the Sky
- Faster Than Flying There Yourself, Polly
- You Are Now Free to Crap Above the Country
- Finally, Pigs Can Fly!
- In First Class, We Lick Your Genitals for You
- Attention, Snakes: Get Your Mother****ing Asses on Our Mother****ing Planes!
- U CAN HAZ WINDOW SEAT!
- Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Monkey Back!

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