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[Jul. 14th, 2009|09:51 am] |
The Top Signs a Ghost Hunter Is Insane
- Walks around the attic asking "Can you hear me now?"
- His exorcism seems to include a lot of balloon animals.
- Sure, it drives out the ghosts, but Fran Drescher's laugh on an endless loop does that to live people too.
- Stands you in front of the air vent to feel "the cold presence."
- You find him sniffing your wife's panties "for traces of ectoplasm."
- Slides over to your urinal and yells, "Don't cross the streams!"
The Top Signs Your Government Is Hiding Things From You
- A White House press secretary's lips are moving, and breath is being expelled through his or her vocal chords.
- Your Congressman is in the stall next to you, tapping out secret messages with his foot.
- Hours before the "Was the moon landing a hoax?" episode of MythBusters airs, both hosts are badly hurt when they fall up a flight of stairs.
- The answer to every White House press conference question: "Who'd like to go to Disney World?!?"
- Congressional toilet paper now being shredded before being flushed.
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