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[Jan. 28th, 2011|05:22 pm]
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My dog and I probably need to seek relationship counseling. I'm looking for nurturing, playful companionship and he's preoccupied chasing tail.
(Mark D. Sabien)

Every year when they hold the New York City Marathon, I like to stand on the sidelines holding out a cup of bleach. You know, in case one of the exhausted runners needs to clean a spot on his shirt or something.
(Bob Van Voris


The Top Rejected Military Experience Book Titles

- "No, God Is On OUR Side!"
- "Mother Wore Combat Boots"
- "War & Peas: Vegetables in Combat"
- "Catch 3.14159265358979323846..."
- "Mein Kramps"
- "Somme Like It Hot"
- "Dune: Look, Another One!"
- "Fighting Greats with Section Eights"


The Top Signs Your ISP Sucks

- Maximum transfer rates are described on a scale of kbF: "kilobytes per fortnight."
- Free 14.4 modem with your new account!
- "Broad band? Is that some kind of female musical ensemble?"
- They refuse to implement IPv6 because they suspect it's the Number of the Beast.
- Redundant data centers consist of a PC in their mom's basement *and* the attic.
- Rebooting their servers involves an actual boot.
- Their dial-up only supports rotary phones.

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