| |
[Apr. 27th, 2010|03:13 pm] |
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Now I realize how ugly I am. (after laser eye surgery)
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started." |
|
|
