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Sunday, September 5th, 2010
| Time | Event |
| 11:05p | ... the Operation Iraqi Liberation (O.I.L.). Renowed for his hide and seek skills even as a small child, Bin Laden has in recent years made several pleads to the White House complaining that he must have won the round by now and it should be George Bush's turn to hide. This first taste of American blood, full of sugar, caffeine and saturated fats, turned into a habit for poor little bin Laden. University of Killtheinfidels Ancestry.com has discovered that Osama bin Laden is related to Osama Grain Bin; Bins N. Tubbs; Bin Dare Dun Dat and Reecikle Bin. Religiously, bin Laden is a Sunni Muslim who expresses a deep tolerance for individuals of opposing viewpoints, who he respectfully refers to as "infidels" (kafir in Arabic, meaning "pigdog shit-eating scum"). There is a growing list of incidents that bin Laden and Al-Qaeda have claimed responsibility for, including Lindsay Lohan's DUI, killing Chris Benoit and his family, the Holocaust, and the Lindbergh baby kidnapping. His spokesmodel in Iraq, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was terminated when his marketing efforts in Iraq killed off more customers than convinced them to buy his products.   http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Osam |
| 11:06p | Taliban (Arabic for "rebellious schoolboys") (originally known as the Talitubbies as seen on TV) The Talibans offers wonderful opportunities for career Suicide Bombers. "All we wanted to do was bring a white Christmas to Afghanistan" says a random member. "But somehow, the U.S. and bombs got involved" The Taliban, while keeping there location secret, have developed a system of delivery for outgoing packages (predominantly threatening media), that somehow finds its way into the hands of organisations such as the Egg nog Lovers organisation and Kick a twilight fan daily! (it īpaši "Kick a twilight fan daily" :DD) In the field of cave habitation, The Taliban have not made any advances in flooded caves, which are thought to comprise 50% of caves including 100% of underwater caves. http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Tali |
| 11:14p |  The Criminals In America is the younger and dumber sibling of the Central Stupidity Agency. The CIA, which is sometimes known as the Challenged Intellectual Association and occasionally referred to as Cornhole Inbred Americans, takes a leading role in the USA's efforts to totally piss off the rest of the world. It is in fact a highly ████████ office of government. Other important surveillance methods include using a large roll of string and tying the end to the back belt loop of your trousers. As you proceed through your daily routine, the string unwinds, demarcating your path and making it clear exactly where you've been. Trained CIA agents are then able to proceed from the location of the roll of string and retrace your steps. This surveillance method is not easily thwarted, however some have reported success weaving through traffic, which tangles the string and requires the agent to pick out all the knots. The honest truth is that the CIA doesn't give a damn about what ████████████████ do to you or your cats. Sensible, intelligent employees (there was one!) at the firm (...) Criticism of Censorship in the CIA ████████ of the ████████ is no ████████! They block ████████ that would be ██ ████████ to you and the rest ██ ████████. If you had the citizens of ████████ in the palm of your hands and no one to stop you whatsoever even if it might be somewhat illegal to some extent? What I'm trying to say here is that the last time I checked, we have ██ ██████! And that means we are a nation! Our ████████ and ██ ████████ and McDonald's means something! And I'm not trying to confuse you! And the episode of Full House where it looks like someone in particular is about ██ ████████ was made by ██ ████████who give you ██████████ and you're ████████ asking ████████, "Why am I ████████ this?" Don't. You're done. And maybe gay. Get a life. Just kidding you guys are ████. I love you. A lot. Some people suggests that it is misleading to call such an organization Central Intelligence Agency, as it contains the word ████████ which may also refer to some connection between the CIA and Intel Inc. (which is more probable than the relation between Intelligence and CIA). http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/CIA |
| 11:31p | This article was written by a fascist. If you don't laugh, we'll execute five prisoners! |
| 11:31p | KGB was a chain of fast food restaurants that originated in Stalinist Russia and has operated since Stalin ordered the Comrades of Kentuckistan to organize into a collective in 1954. KGB was most well known for the lengths it took to satisfy the costumer, even placing cameras and microphones inside of everything to monitor for people showing the slightest sign of hunger and then quickly "addressing" the problem. Any hint at dissatisfaction by anyone was "handled" by special undercover agents at the KGB Collective Training Headquarters in Siberia. Loyal comrades may not know they are hungry until KGB informs them that they are hungry. http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/KGB |
| 11:31p |  Nazi Burger is an restaurant established in 1933 by Hitler, registered under Axis Ltd. They are known for their Double Jew-burger and Auschwitz Fries made in their patented Holocaust fryer. However, it was forced off the market in 1945 and now only exists outside Germany as Neo-Nazi Burger, later known as McDonald's. free burgers would be passed out to hungry crowds, who raised their hands in unison to demand them. By the way, next week, yesterday, three years from now, in the fourth dimension, Hitler shall be reborn in the form of a water nymph. Collectible toys have been extremely collectable, ranging from the popular Iron Cross badge to the Collect 'Em All Panzerfaust set. In 1939, a Polish knock-off of Nazi Burger was accused of copyright infringement. Hitler sent his army of lawyers in their company Panzers and once again used ice cream to appease them. Nazi Burger tried to spread through all of Europe but met resistance from French terrorists who didn't like the "no wine policy." To keep up good French customer relations, they established the new Vichy Burger. The English population didn't much care for the ice cream drinks, not even the new V-2 shakes. In fact, they attempted to aggressively shut down the Nazi Burger chain, franchise by franchise, with a series of lawsuits. Nazi Burger was so successful in spreading that it was merged with several other fast food chains: Mussolini's Pizza Factory, Hirohito's Sushi Hut, Goulash Emperor, and Thai Satay. In 1941, Sushi Hut was accused of giving cat meat to Americans through the port of Pearl Harbor. The FDR Fast Food Inc. declared an all-out campaign for clean food worldwide and sued both Nazi Burger and Hirohito's Sushi Hut. After a bitter legal struggle the FDR Fast Food Inc. decided to take an idea from Nazi Burger and use ice cream to put the restaurants out of business. Consequently, in 1945 the Hiroshima Little Boy Nuclear Malt was introduced in Japan, bringing much joy to the Japanese, who had never had so much ice cream. Retreating to the freezer and realizing his dream of a massive fast food empire was at an end, Hitler ate a burger and then shot himself. http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nazi |
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