An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.

Don’t be dumb and mix wine and rum.