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[Feb. 5th, 2010|07:03 pm] |
I gotta say, collecting friends the FaceBook way has been a lot easier than the old horse-tranquilizer way.
Sometimes I hear voices in my head telling me to do really sick, perverted things, but I always wonder if that's just me thinking about things I really want to do anyway.
Man, I need a phone app that will keep the music playing on it when I get an incoming call, forcing me to shout over the noise to whoever's on the line and make it sound like I'm rockin' out at a concert they were *clearly* not cool enough to get tickets to see.
Why do the voices never say, Your dosage needs adjustment"?
The Top Signs You Are Too Hairy
- The drain in your tub has more clogs than a Dutch shoe store.
- Your eyelashes have become entangled in your eyebrows.
- You use your fingers to rub shampoo through your scalp hairs, and your scalp to rub shampoo through your finger hairs.
- You fell asleep on the couch without your shirt and your hubby macramed your chest hair. Again.
- No one can tell where your head hair ends and your back hair begins.
- Your Brazilian requires the use of a chainsaw.
- Last summer, everyone was asking why you were carrying a ferret in your shorts.
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