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[Dec. 3rd, 2009|09:14 am] |
Life can be really unfair at times. For example: Thanks to Daylight Saving Time, if you die in the Fall you'll die one hour earlier than people who die in the Spring.
Her mom may be angry about it, but if my 3-year-old niece ever becomes a truck driver, that tobacco-spitting trick I taught her will come in mighty handy.
The Top Things the Office Gnomes Do When Nobody Is Around
- Speeel chek awl da impotant prezuntations da nite beefour da beeg meating.
- Reset the height on the chairs from tall to short and short to tall.
- Surf for porn on my computer. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it!
- Go for the company record: 79 bottoms on one photocopiedcpage.
- Whatever it is, it sure as hell isn't finishing my marketing report.
- Move decimal points in the third-quarter sales projections.
- Unplug the keyboard on half the computers. Unplug the mouse on the other half.
- Play inside the snack machine so the items sit two spaces back or get stuck coming out.
- Disappointingly, they read the company's annual reports.
- Fax the rejected product design to the competition in China. Let 'em pirate *that* a million times!
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