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[Jun. 24th, 2009|11:34 am] |
At first, I thought I was having that dream where you show up unprepared and naked for a test, and then I thought maybe I was trying to picture myself and everyone else naked as a way to relax. Eventually, though, I said what I was supposed to say, the tequila wore off, and I will probably never get invited to speak at a graduation again.
Wiley
Fool me once, shame one you. Fool me twice, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Shawn Stephens
The Top Slogans for the New General Motors
- 25% less safety features = 25% savings!
- A Camaro of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from this earth.
- No more Saturn, introducing Uranus!
- Looking for Easy Credit Terms? Well, so were we.
- We, the people, of the General Motors of America, in order to form a more perfect vehicle...
- Use your tax rebate to buy our car to get another rebate you paid for.
- Vehicles that move at the speed of government.
- Ask not what Buick can do for you. Ask instead what you can do for yourself. Like buying a Buick.
- What are you going to do, ride Amtrak?
- What's Good for General Motors is, by Executive Order 095514-C, Good for America.
- Like a F#*k! But without any lube.
The Top Passages From Sarah Palin's Memoirs
- "The majestic creature stopped and turned, and I thought I could see a spark of understanding in his large, brown eyes, perhaps sensing something in the cold Alaskan air. 'Not likely!' I thought as I squeezed the trigger on my Winchester from the jump seat of the helicopter a half-mile away."
- "Bristol and Levi loved playing Monopoly. They would be up all night in her room playing it, giggling and squealing and pounding the floor -- and whenever Levi landed on Bristol's Boardwalk hotel, the whole house echoed with her screams of joy."
- "There's one area in which I would definitely have improved on Dick Cheney's performance: I'd have dropped *my* lawyer friend at 1000 yards."
- "There she is, that adorable little Caitlin Miss South Teen Carolina, talking about South Africa and The Iraq, everywhere, like, such as -- and I'm all, holy mackerel! She could be my foreign-policy advisor!"
- "So they told me I was their choice for vice president and to come to Washington the next day. Imagine my shock when I got off the plane in Seattle."
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