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[Nov. 18th, 2008|11:29 am] |
Whenever my teenage daughter comes down the stairs dressed like a tramp for her date, I think to myself, "Damn, why won't her mother wear something like that?"
Dave Henry
When my wife asked me about having children, I said, "But how can we justify bringing another child into such a screwed-up world?" Then she reminded me that our kid might grow up to become a big movie star or a great NFL quarterback and make us really, really rich. I think having that much money would probably insulate him pretty well from all that "crappy world" stuff.
Miles Walker
The Top Signs You're About to Be Fired from eBay
- You just saw an online auction for a job that looks suspiciously like yours, and the current winning bid is $2.13 per hour from some guy in India.
- Your paystub includes a line that reads "End Time: Nov-21-08 10:00:00 PDT (3 days 7 hours)."
- Your PayPal'ed paycheck bounced.
- You get an automated e-mail notification for a Dutch auction of "1,100 experienced e-commerce employees from a major firm."
- Your coworkers are offering each other one extra penny for your office supplies.
- You get an e-mail alert telling you that your highest bidder, eBay, has withdrawn its bid for your services.
- The HR department has a listing for "dead meat" with a starting price of $1.00, with your picture attached.
- Your e-mail address has changed from ebay.com to gbye.com.
- Before beginning your annual review, your boss rolls you in bubble wrap.
Sealand is the world's smallest country, located in the English Channel and about the size of a football field, and it's featured on the cover of Wired Magazine this month. You can find their website at http://www.sealandgov.com
The Top Tourism Slogans for Sealand
- We Vacuum Our Country Daily!
- Come for the View -- Stay to Captain Our Navy!
- The Mini-Me of Sovereign Nations
- Now With a Bathroom!
- Sealand -- The only country in the world with fewer than 10 Starbucks!
- Come Meet Our Soccer Hooligan!
- Maximum Occupancy: 436
- Home of the world's shortest airstrip AND lovely Cessna Carcass Reef!
- Sealand -- Site of the 1999 Black Professional Hockey Players Convention
- One Man, One Manifesto
- World Cup Champions, 1968-2000, Tiny Platform Nations Division
- Sure we're small, but it's cold-water shrinkage!
- Hey, Christo! Over here!
- Sealand -- Within Pissing Distance of France
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