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[Jul. 29th, 2008|03:08 pm] |
Remember: Today is the first day of the rest of what you're optimistically calling a life.
Jerry L. Embry
If the word "sniffles" were replaced with the medical term, "nasal leakage," people would be a whole lot more serious about finding a cure for the common cold.
Craig Goralski
They say that love conquers all. Maybe, but *I* haven't lost faith in armored divisions with awesome firepower coupled with total air and naval superiority.
Maurizio Mariotti
The Top Unlikely Tech Company Mergers
- Cisco + Playskool = Cisco Kid
- Google + U.S. Army = Search and Destroy
- Intel + G.Q. = IntelliGents
- Farmer's Insurance + Dell Computers = Farmer in the Dell
- Google + Victoria's Secret = Booble
- Disney + Microsoft = Mickey Mouse
- Nintendo + Huggies = Wii-Wee
- eBay + Verizon = Buy and Cell
- Mozilla Foundation + Catholic Church = Godzilla
- Google + Apache = Search Injuns
- Microsoft + Hell's Angels = Little Redmond Riding Hoods
The Top Worst Opening Lines in a Horror Story
- "Mr. Quackers, the demonic rubber duckie, squeaked malevolently as the soap bubbles popped ominously around my toes."
- "I usually wasn't big on chicks with red eyes, pale skin and long, sharp incisors, but the rack on this chick was enough to make me willingly follow her anywhere, even the old MacDougall place."
- "Billy Lugosi (no relation to Bela) lived on Poe Street (not named after Edgar Allan) in the sleepy suburb of Krueger (no relation to Freddie), Pennsylvania (not Transylvania)."
- "In spite of the cheerful tune wafting across the shadowy graveyard, Billy's pace quickened, his fearful mind far from convinced that 'Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun'."
- "Ironically, I had bet my shapely, blonde roommate that she WOULDN'T be axed that night."
- "I am the Lord of Hell. You will do as I command. Go get me some ice cream."
- "There was blood everywhere. Some over here. Some over there. Some under there. Some on top of there. You shoulda seen it. It was everywhere."
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