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[Mar. 14th, 2008|09:04 am]
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The Top Other Ways to Remove Gum from One's Hair

- Set a swim course near an Exxon tanker. Wait.
- Use paint thinner. If the gum doesn't come out, you'll be so stoned you won't care!
- Ten minutes in a 600W microwave will shorten those long organic chains. It's then a simple matter of crushing the gum residue between two bricks.
- Insert a large copper rod then wait for lightning to do its magic.
- Paint the victim's skin green, dunk the head in liquid nitrogen then crack the gum by squeezing anything pink between your fingers. Remember, safety first: Wear a white lab coat.
- (A) Mix 50% gasoline and 50% bleach in a large bowl. (B) Throw mixture at the jerk who put the gum in your hair.
- Start a fight with a chick. There's always a lot of hair-pulling in catfights.
- Don't remove it. Add more gum till you have a gum helmet. Then maybe those infernal voices will stop!
- Stop trimming your back hairs. Female yetis groom their partners. You may even get lucky...

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