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[Mar. 13th, 2008|10:37 am] |
The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
Peter Ustinov
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Kiss Defined:
Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.
Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing.
Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.
Prof. of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.
Prof. of Chemistry: A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.
Prof. of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.
Prof. of Physiology: A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.
Prof. of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.
Prof. of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.
Prof. of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.
Prof. of Statistics: A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.
Prof. of Philosophy: A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.
Prof. of English: A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.
Prof. of Engineering: Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.
Types of Girls
Hard Disk Girls: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
Windows Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
Screensaver Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
Internet Girls: Difficult to access.
Server Girls: Always busy when you need her.
Multimedia Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
Email Girls: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
Virus Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything. |
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