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[Oct. 18th, 2007|10:10 am] |
Billy Joel is on tour, The Who are playing again, and even Led Zepplin has decided to give a reunion concert. Surely this can't be easy for rockers of their advanced ages, no?
The Top Health Tips for Aging Rockers
- Only hire old roadies -- they may not look hot, but they'll understand your prostate problems.
- Nore more than 3 groupies per Viagra.
- In time of emergency a shorted-out guitar makes an excellent defibrillator.
- Be careful not to catch your nipple ring on your colostomy bag.
- The bones and cartilage in a bat's neck can rupture sensitive gum tissue, as well as ruining expensive dentures. Don't even think about it.
- More early-bird specials, fewer all-night rock-outs.
Well someone has to work that 11 to 7 shift. And that someone has to find something constructive to do when all the patients are asleep…
The Top Signs the Night Shift Was Bored
- Tongue depressors, bandage tape and casting gauze have been crafted into an eight-foot T-Rex nurse.
- Each patient's hair has been braided into cornrows. *All* their hair.
- "U. C. Bonez," the admit in 37A, has a diagnosis of "terminal anorexia," and the anatomy lab is missing its skeleton again.
- Head shots of the First-Year Residents have been glued into the bottom of bedpans. The bedpans? Superglued to the ceiling.
- "Oh hell. Can anyone find me a pen that *doesn't* have disappearing ink in it?"
- Pathology slide captioned: "I haz teh lookeemya. I can haz chemo?"
The Top Rejected Military Experience Book Titles
- "No, God Is On OUR Side!"
- "Mother Wore Combat Boots"
- "War & Peas: Vegetables in Combat"
- "Catch 3.14159265358979323846..."
- "Mein Kramps"
- "Somme Like It Hot"
- "Fighting Greats With Section Eights"
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