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[Oct. 14th, 2005|07:30 pm] |
Researchers have unveiled genetically engineered mice that can run farther and longer than their naturally bred brethren, bringing the "genetic doping" of elite athletes a small step closer to reality.
The Top Unexpected Results of Breeding Marathon Mice:
Mice do not have an instinctive appreciation of the benefits of showering after a workout, and *I* am not cleaning out that cage.
After hooking their wheel generator up to the house current, Con Ed owes *me* money.
Instead of cheese, we now bait our mousetraps with little cups of Gatorade.
Build a wheel into that engine block and you can have the first car that runs on cheese!
Where do you find teeny-tiny little Band-Aids for mouse blisters?
Nike exectutives are concerned because these athletes *do* read the small print.
A corresponding need to genetically enhance cats.
Divorced celeb couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have put their home on the market for $28 million.
The Top 8 Items Found in the Pitt-Aniston Mansion
Lots and lots of mirrors.
His and Hers framed contracts with Satan.
Aniston's bigger boobs from "Bruce Almighty."
Double-sided blow-up doll with Angelina Jolie on one side and Vince Vaughn on the other.
A note from Brad to Jen saying, "We were on a break!"
A well-stocked library, including a copy of "Screwing up a Storybook Marriage for Dummies." |
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