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Jan. 24th, 2006|06:15 pm |
Sometimes when I go for job interviews, I get the feeling that they don't give enough weight to my Ph.D. in document forgery.
(Paul Hannah)
The Top 9 New Internet Slang Expressions
9. Squatgroups: Largely abandoned newsgroups that have been seized by third parties for other purposes, usually as a private playground or for flamewars.
8. Mahirsterdance: A fad that sweeps the Internet community for about 10 seconds, only to be forgotten in favor of the next Mahirsterdance.
7. Beating Bill: Any activity engaged in while waiting for your computer to reboot after a Windows crash.
6. Rush Limblog: A blog site that is ruled with an iron fist, in which no critical comments are posted and any old postings that have proven to be wrong are deleted and never spoken of.
5. Code Poser: Someone who pretends to be a programmer in hopes of experiencing the high social prestige and sexual attraction of real programmers.
4. Blog Cabins: The imaginary world in which certain bloggers live where they are always right and everybody else is always wrong.
3. Sex Mitzvah: When celebrities hit the big time purely on the basis of having their "personal videos" displayed on the Internet.
2. Proper English: An archaic form of written communication using established standards of grammar, syntax and spelling; common before the advent of e-mail but now rarely seen.
1. Blahggers: People who keep online journals despite the fact that their lives aren't interesting.
The Top 9 Common-Sense Reminders for Absent-Minded Scientists
9. It's called a comb.
8. 1. Make sure you are wearing pants.
2. Enter lecture hall.
7. Your pen is behind your ear.
6. Change your shorts every day that ends in "Y."
5. Anything involving ripping the space-time continuum and destroying all life as we know it is a BAD THING.
4. You haven't discovered a dark matter region if you've left on the telescope's lens cap.
3. The short people sitting on your couch are your kids.
2. So you'll know it's yours if you misplace it, write your initials on your scanning electron microscope.
1. Once you've become a national hero for your research into stem cells, it's a good idea to stop faking your data.
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