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[Jul. 26th, 2007|11:32 am]
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How do I know America is getting obese? The world record for phone booth stuffing was set in 1957, people. Nineteen. Fifty. Seven.
Travis Ruetenik

Most men lead lives of quiet masturbation.
Tom Sims

As a kid, I would ride my bike no-handed down the crowded city streets. I have since graduated from such juvenile stunts. Besides, it's more fun doing it with my car.
Stephanie Thompson

They have big billboards outside of Meade, Kansas, telling you how to get to the Dalton Gang's hideout. No wonder those poor dumb suckers got shot.
Anthony Myers

I think spammers are starting to lose it. Just today I received an offer to lower my mortgage by three inches.
James Smarjesse

No TopFive.com
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