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[Jul. 4th, 2007|08:02 am] |
The Top Surprise Features of the iPhone
- iBank app tracks how many organs you'll need to sell to pay off the cost of it.
- Keeps popping up messages give you the address of someone named Sara Conners.
- Reassurance Generator application continually reminds you that you are indeed smarter *and* cooler than a Windows user.
- When the new iPhone model comes out in six months, you can put this one under the short leg of a table to make it perfectly level.
- Renders certain other hand-held devices inoperable with "Blackberry Jam" feature.
- Tghe toiuchsxcreenb keytpadf isd reaslklyt accuyraterf abnd eadsy toi usre.
- iEyeMe feature provides a separate hand-held mirror so you can admire yourself using your iPhone, you groovy geek, you!
- For some reason, calls made with the new iVideoPhone feature always show a close-up of the calling party's inner ear.
- Comes with a trophy stand so it'll look great next to your CB radio, quadrophonic 8-track and laser disc player next year.
- Automatically dials 911 whenever those mean PC bullies kick your dweeby ass.
- The middle row of the new keypad arrangement spells out "B I L G A T E S U X."
- Dial #666 to change all the digital "paintings" in Bill Gates' mansion to anime porn.
- The right key sequence turns it into a Jedi lightsabre.
- The new touchscreen, combined with AT&T's wireless service, allows you to reach out and fondle someone.
- Rounded edges and mirror smooth surface makes it easier to shove up the ass of a smug owner.
- It conveniently combines all your indispensible functions -- phone, camera, music player and PDA -- into a single overpriced, easily lost device.
- Cranial-GPS feature comes in handy when you realize you've lost your mind and paid $600 for a freakin' phone!
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