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[Jun. 12th, 2007|10:46 am] |
Microsoft just introduced Surface, a flat-screen tabletop computer that allows people to use their hands and fingers to move on-screen objects.
The Top Features of Microsoft Surface
- It's backward-compatible with 35% of plates, glasses, and silverware.
- If you set down a coffee mug it immediately boots up Java.
- Hmmm, there's something awfully familiar about that big, bright blue rectangle...
- Forget the fancy features, you just want to play tabletop Ms. Pac-Man like in the 80s.
- Waving to a friend causes all your files to move to the Recycle Bin.
- Comes with tablecloth so when it's obsolete in six months it can be used as an actual coffee table.
- When you place a Zune on it, Surface plays your music; when you place an iPod on it, Surface melts it.
- Imaging cameras automatically shut down upon detecting the approach of naked buttocks.
A 4 km high building is proposed for Tokyo.
The Top Features In A 4000 Meter Tall Building
- First (and only) special Sleeper elevators.
- 800 flights of stairs. 12 thousand steps. 1 mandatory fire drill per week.
- Really, really terrific water pressure on the lower levels.
- Duh! Indoor Skydiving!
- Only one bathroom, and it's on the top floor.
- Weather reports every 100 floors.
- World's best roof from which to drop watermelons.
- A skylight with unbreakable glass, so no one can break in from the roof.
- After you jump from the observation deck, there's time to call your therapist, change your mind, and call 911 for a rescue.
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