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[Jan. 7th, 2011|02:53 pm] |
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Nāk pavasaris, jāvāc idejas auto tjūningam ;)) |
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[Jan. 7th, 2011|06:45 pm] |
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Wulffmorgenthaler izlasīte: ( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Jan. 7th, 2011|07:26 pm] |
Хорошие мужья не делают замечаний жене, не так забивающей гвоздь...
Деньги позволяют решить такие проблемы, которых без денег у вас бы не было.
Если Вы считаете себя самым умным, то почему Ваша фамилия звучит иначе, чем Путин ?
Если не выходить на улицу и каждый день смотреть новости по первому каналу, можно нечаянно подумать, что всё просто заебись.
Плакат на автостраде при въезде в город: "Столбы наносят повреждения автомобилям только в порядке самообороны"
- Просто интересно, как это на фотографиях вашего ателье все так непринужденно смеются?
- Вы бы так не удивлялись, если бы знали, как выглядит наш фотограф!
- Никогда не пытайся понять, то чего не можешь понять.
- Не понял...
- И не пытайся!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Jan. 7th, 2011|08:02 pm] |
If aliens ever come to earth, and you're the first person they see, just say, 'Okjulz.' I have a feeling it means something.
(Adam D. Ashe)
Last night I did manly things. First I did a load of manly white things, then I did a load of manly colored things, then I folded them.
(James Knowles)
How come we waste all that money on stealth bombers? Sure, they appear invisible on the radar screen, but don't you think our enemies might get just a little suspicious of two guys sitting in the air about 30,000 feet up?
(Fanny Bright)
One thing I hate about drinking is that it brings all the snakes out in your yard. But whatever you do, don't chop those things up -- your electricity will go off.
(Jerry L. Embry)
Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some people call me the Sheep Molester. That last one, to be perfectly honest, I have mixed emotions about.
(Chris MacEachen)
I don't know the right response for when my wife shows me her new hairdo, but so far I've ruled out "What on earth happened?" and "Is it windy out?"
(Scott E. Frank / @ScottF69)
It isn't a midlife crisis if it kills you instantly.
(The Covert Comic)
I cried because I had no sex, until I met a cheap hooker. Problem solved, right? Wrong! Bitch stole my shoes!
(Tim H. Richweis) |
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[Jan. 7th, 2011|08:19 pm] |
The Top Signs You're Not Cut Out for Parenthood
- "It's all right, Honey, I washed her on the 'delicate' cycle!"
- You really enjoy watching the birthing film -- backwards. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Ways "Star Wars" Would Have Been Different If the Characters Were Stoners
- Vader's wheezing not mechanical.
- Everyone giggles when Han Solo's name is mentioned. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Signs Your Significant Other Has Attention Deficit Disorder
- That's the seventh wedding anniversary present he bought you this year.
- Needs complete calm and isolation to do her job as an emergency room physician. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Signs You Are Here
- Everyone keeps telling you to "get the hell out of here," so here you must be.
- Your wife told you not to be here. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Geeky Ways to Celebrate the Holidays
- Just like every year: All-day online marathon playing Grand Theft Sleigh: North Pole.
- Tweet about each gift as you open it. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Christmas Specials Written by or for Lawyers
- "How the Grinch Allegedly Committed Third Degree Theft by Unlawful Taking of Christmas"
- "Twelve Angry Elves" ( ... tālāk ... ) |
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