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[Oct. 17th, 2010|01:02 pm] |
No @5tevenw twiterī:
Did I already post that Alzheimer's joke?
I hate to brag, but it's the most effortless way to enlighten people about my magnificence.
When I was younger I always felt like I was a boy trapped in a woman's body. However, that changed when I was born.
I saw that human torch guy from the Fantastic 4 film. I tried to get his autograph but he just kept rolling around on the floor screaming.
You can't make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
Anyone who says an onion is the only vegetable that will make you cry has obviously never been hit in the face with a turnip.
We have 2% milk in the fridge, no idea what the hell the other 98% is.
All that glitters is not gold. A good example of this is glitter.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.
The Chileans take hide and seek way too seriously
Just bought a CD about railways.It's got some nice tracks.
I saw an ad online promising free corned beef! All I had to do was put in my email address.It was a total con, all I got was Spam.
I have an image of Jesus that pops up on my PC monitor if I leave it idle for 10 minutes.It's my screen saviour.
Windmills.... big fan, big big fan!
Every cloud has a silver lining (except for the mushroom shaped ones, which have a lining of Iridium & Strontium 90). |
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