| |
[Sep. 11th, 2010|12:31 pm] |
Жена забила морозилку до отказа мясом, курицей, какими-то котлетами и уехала на две недели...
В итоге пельмени хранить негде! Жрать хочу, помираю!
В психбольнице больные смотрят утром по телику новости. Один вдруг хлопает себя по коленке:
- Хорошо, что я в психушке!
За его спиной санитары друг другу:
- Да... Этот, кажись, выздоровел. |
|
|
| |
[Sep. 11th, 2010|12:34 pm] |
I laugh in the face of Death. Well, actually, it's more like I giggle when he's got his back turned.
I'd never make it as a vampire. Sure, I love staying up all night and sleeping all day, but I wouldn't be able to give up my garlic fries.
I don't think money is the root of all evil. My ex may be evil, but I'm pretty sure she's breaking in and shaving my cat just for kicks.
My research aimed to combine the 11 dimensions of current string theory with the 29 compatibility dimensions of eHarmony into a new theory of evolutionary human sexuality. Or it *would* have if the MacArthur Foundation hadn't withdrawn support of my research grant after I included various brothels on the list of required lab facilities.
We live in a dangerous world, and I guess we all will have to adjust to the idea of giving up some freedoms and dealing with a heightened level of security. Well, at least according to that Dunkin' Donuts cashier who strip-searched my wife this morning, we do.
The Top Signs Your Drone Has Gone Rogue
- It keeps signing off as "D. B. Cooper."
- It's somehow acquired a payload of lipstick and bulldog poop. ( ... tālāk ... )
It's done just fine, thank you, but executives at New Line once discussed changing the title of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" in deference to the 9/11 tragedy.
The Top Alternate Titles for Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers"
- Lord of the Rings II: The Whiny, Oversensitive Public
- Lord of the Rings: The Greater Than One but Less Than Three Tall Stone Structures That Aren't Even Located Anywhere Near New York and Were Written About a Long Time Ago So Get Over It Already ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Reasons Banjos Are Better Than Automatic Weapons
- A banjo will repel gangstas just as well as an automatic weapon, but without any jail time.
- You can't play "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" on an Uzi. ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Haikus About Camping
Hubby is amazed
That after going swimming
There is much shrinkage
Yippee! Joy! Camping!
With bugs, rain, mud, snakes, vermin
Fun, like chewing glass
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Sep. 11th, 2010|12:50 pm] |
|
Video: Auč! |
|
|