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[Aug. 5th, 2010|08:00 am] |
После холодного и крепкого хочется теплое и упругое...
Чего только ни сделаешь ради того, чтобы насладиться блеском радости в глазах, которые каждодневно видишь в зеркале.
Из закона «О приватизации»: Неприватизированную квартиру можно получить в наследство только если помрет государство.
- Шеф, телефон! По-моему, вас спрашивают.
- Что значит "по-моему"? Меня или не меня?
- Ну, я не знаю. Кто-то звонит и спрашивает - этот козел еще на месте? |
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[Aug. 5th, 2010|09:45 am] |
If I were Superman, I think I'd just fight for truth, justice and the Canadian way. That seems easier. All I'd ever have to do is break up an occasional hockey fight, and make sure criminals say everything twice. Once in English, and then again in French.
Anyone who can't appreciate my Peaches and Baked Bean Casserole with Creamy Mushroom Sauce has obviously never had a toddler peel all the labels off the cans before.
The Top Signs Your Boss Has Caught Up On Work
- Plays basketball with the wastebasket and keeps score.
- Spends meeting time updating his Paris Hilton scrapbook.
- You enter the office and he's playing house with his action figures.
- Third time this week he is doing an inventory of the office supply closet.
- Has you teach Flash animation to his 3rd grader.
- The schedule lists him in four meetings today. But only one of them includes other people.
- His latest e-mail is just a string of buzzwords.
- His latest "big project"? Selecting a font to use on the address labels.
- Instructs IT to remove the spam and porn blockers from the company's servers.
- Personally reviews every website blocked by the IT filter.
- 78 Tweets before lunch has got to be some kind of a record.
The Top Favorite Songs of Zombies
- Dig Me Up Before You Go Go
- Eight Brains a Week
- Lunch Is a Battlefield
- You Bite Up My Wife
- I'll Stumble Toward Ya
- Waaalk Diiiis Waaaay
- Yellow Someone's Spleen
- Stop Dragging My Foot Around
- Chompin' Jack's Flesh
- Supercalifragibrainsaretotallydelicious
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