| |
[Jun. 18th, 2010|07:47 am] |
я тоже правду люблю.. даже сам иногда её выдумываю...
Разговоp детишек:
- Меня нашли в капусте.
- А меня аист пpинес.
- А меня из интеpнета скачали.
Стадии взросления среднестатистического человека:
1) Боится фильмов про Фредди Крюгера.
2) Смеётся над фильмами про Фредди Крюгера.
3) Предаётся ностальгическому умилению от фильмов с Фредди Крюгером.
4) Согласен с Фредди Крюгером. Так этим подросткам и надо, старших нужно слушаться! |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 18th, 2010|07:48 am] |
If they take away the right to say "f**k," how long before they take away the right to say "f##k"?
How do I know I'm older and wiser? I used to skip school to watch MTV. Now I just skip MTV.
Women are like diamonds: The ones you see on TV are always nicer than the ones you can actually afford.
The resume I sent to get a job as a seat filler at the Oscars included the following "previous experience": "Sat on my ass and watched the Oscars, 1987-1998," "See attached photo of couch with permanent indent of my ass," and "I regularly stalk celebrities and can sense when they need a bathroom break."
Everyone in my family shies away from playing board games. They claim I'm too competitive. Screw 'em if they can't handle being booyah'd and mooned every time I make a point.
The Top Marketing Slogans for Superheroes
- Aquaman: More than just talking to fish... oh, hell, who are we kidding?
- The Dark Knight: Now 20% Less Dark and 40% More Knight! ( ... tālāk ... )
The Top Things to Do Before Leaving for Vacation
- Wrap entire house in duct tape. That'll keep the burglars out and the cat in.
- Change recording in alarm system from "Dogs Barking Jingle Bells" to "Dogs Barking the Star Spangled Banner." ( ... tālāk ... )
Forty-two percent of Japanese children polled think the sun revolves around the earth, among other celestial misconceptions.
The Top Scientific Misconceptions Children Have
- God created the earth by knocking Ymir the Frost Giant into itty-bitty pieces. (homeschooled Minnesotans only)
- Because entropy increases over time, cleaning your room is pretty useless. ( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Jun. 18th, 2010|09:36 pm] |
Smuki :) ( 16+ ) |
|
|