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[Dec. 4th, 2008|09:33 am] |
Настоящий кризис - это когда нет уверенности не только в будущем, но и в прошлом.
- Вам взвесить?
- Да.
- Три пятьсот. Будете брать?
- Конечно! Заверните, пожалуйста.
- Перевязать?
- Да.
- Возьмите, пожалуйста. Поздравляю вас с новорожденным!
- Аллло!А Колю можна?
- Тут нету никокого Коли!
- А это 22-33-44?
- Нет. Это 22-33-43.
- Ну всеравно рядом. Колю позовите! |
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[Dec. 4th, 2008|08:18 pm] |
I'm told fatherhood is the ultimate test of a man. Of course, none of this would be necessary if that condom manufacturer had just come up with a slightly tougher test of its own.
Brad Osberg
I used to believe in true love. I used to believe in Santa, too, but the last jerk I went out with told me that Santa was really my mom and dad.
Jenn McNanna
I used to think that women looked at my naked body with awe. It wasn't until lately that I found out they were actually saying, "Awww..."
Bob Van Voris
The Top Army Insults
- You're so dumb you thought "howitzer" was a Jewish holiday!
- So, you didn't want to go to jail either?
- Just because you travel on your stomach doesn't mean you're supposed to eat the dirt.
- Your "olive drab" is just fab.
- I've seen better haircuts in "Braveheart."
- Your mother wears Air Force boots.
- Light infantry walks because they can't fly, can't swim, and the thought of them driving a vehicle is too damn scary to contemplate.
- Did you ever notice there are Army ants and Army worms? Basically, anything "Army" has no spine.
- I guess that's all you can be.
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