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[Oct. 24th, 2008|07:42 am] |
Красная Шапочка больше не ходит пешком в лес. Бабуля купила ей джип. Смотрите во всех кинотеатрах города - "Волкодав".
- Как заработать на пробках?
- Можно сдавать заднее сиденье иногородним.
Супружеская пара занимается любовью. Девушка:
- Давай, давай... О! Левее, левее! Вау! Чуток пониже...
Мужчина:
- Детка! Мы ебёмся или паркуемся?
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Oct. 24th, 2008|07:45 am] |
The Top Interesting Celebrity Anagrams
- Ronald Reagan = a granola nerd
- Whitney Houston = thou whiney snot
- George W. Bush = huge sob grew
- Barney the Dinosaur = I be rude, horny Satan.
- Mary Kate Olsen = Mary? A skeleton.
- Jessica Simpson = Piss-cam on Jessi!
- Michael Moore = Hear me: I'm loco!
- Oprah Winfrey = why I fear porn
- Calista Flockhart = sorta flat L.A. chick
- Saddam Hussein = has ass in de mud
- Julia Roberts = just re-oil bra
- Carmen Electra = caramel center
- Anna Nicole Smith = an oilman in chest
- Paris Hilton = Hail! It's Porn!
- Susan Sarandon = O darn! Sans anus!
- Britney Spears = Bray, siren pest!
- Pamela Anderson = a lad, a porn, semen
- Luciano Pavarotti = I toot up a carnival.
No TopFive.com |
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[Oct. 24th, 2008|10:55 am] |
The Top Ways Movies Would Differ Under an Obama/Biden Administration
- Jon Voight's character mysteriously written out of "National Treasure 3."
- Only inexperienced directors can get work.
- Flying Nun debuts on the big screen, except this time it's her ears that give her lift.
- Whitesploitation, including Caucasian actors dressing in drag in "Obama's Big Momma's House."
- Hillary Clinton shows up on every set, trying to insert herself into the picture.
- Remake of "Lord of the Rings" has Gandalf and Sarumon work out their differences in the first half-hour.
- "Matrix 4" with Neobama. (He's "That One.")
- Socialist Muslim terrorists are now the *good* guys.
No TopFive.com |
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