| |
[Apr. 5th, 2008|10:03 am] |
Лишь два профессионала умело скрывают секреты своего мастерства: фокусник - куда исчез заяц из шляпы, а чиновник - бюджетные деньги.
От обезьяны человеку передалось три основных генетических качества: Желание похохмить. Желание залезть повыше. И отсутствие желания работать.
Если ты имеешь хорошее здоровье, крепкие нервы и много свободного времени, но тебя мучает ностальгия по прошлому - сходи на диспансеризацию в районную поликлинику, и у тебя всё пройдет.
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 5th, 2008|10:20 am] |
It's been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac. It's true, women love guys who have power. They also seem to enjoy running water and central heating.
Anthony Myers
I tried to tell my son how important it is to work hard, do well in school, avoid drugs and serve in the military. I told him if he doesn't do those things he might end up being president, and then no one would like him.
Jim Evarts
This year, my resolution is for my neighbor to lose 30 pounds. That way, come next January, *he's* the slob with no willpower.
Brad Osberg
No TopFive.com |
|
|
| |
[Apr. 5th, 2008|10:22 am] |
A 35-year-old Kansas woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police. Doctors said the woman's skin had grown around the seat. Those wacky Kansans! But the question remains: WHY?!?
The Top 15 Reasons to Spend Two Years on a Toilet
- When you have a wife, five daughters, and one bathroom, a man has to pick somewhere to make a stand -- or a sit, in this case.
- Because two years in the *bathtub* would get uncomfortable.
- You're a congressman; it takes you two years to pass ANYthing.( ... tālāk ... )
April Fools Day is celebrated in many countries on April 1. The day is marked by playing practical jokes on, well, everyone.
The Top Pranks Played by Management
- Give everybody the day off, start calling at 6:00 a.m. to see where they are.
- Place a conspicuously large stack of cardboard boxes in the lobby.( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|